The Office Brings SexyBack

Laziness

I have not run for the past 4 days!!! I feel like a blimp. Definitely not looking forward to getting back to it.

I Want to Write a Screenplay

I really do. However, I have even less confidence in tackling this endeavor than I do novel writing. I know virtually nothing about the art of film or script writing. I did write a couple plays as a child that my friends and I performed for the neighbors, but apparently, the audience had no idea what was going on so that can't be a good sign! Anyhoo, I thought if I blogged about my desire to do this, I may be more inclined to pursue it. I'll update if any progress is made.

The Amazing Race: Down to Final 3

First time I've made an effort to watch the show week-to-week. I was hoping Rob & Amber would stick around a lot longer. It was shocking when they departed so quickly into the season. Last night Danny and Os were eliminated, narrowing it down to the final three.

I have no choice but to root for the beauty queens, Dustin and Kandice. They came in as the underdogs on their season (10), but won the approval of their competitors, so much so, they were invited back for The Amazing Race: All-Stars, and now find themselves at the head of the pack.

Eric and Danielle, a couple that is dating, are just plain sad to watch. Eric constantly belittles Danielle and forces her to do all the physically challenging roadblocks, where only one person is permitted to do the task at hand. I mostly feel sorry for Danielle and wonder why she wastes her time with such an arrogant prick.

Then we have cousins Charla and Mirna. There couldn't be any two more annoying people on the planet. All they ever do is complain and whine and piss everyone off. They play dirty but then act as if they are the moral authorities of the game.

With two of the three teams comprised of women, it likely could be the first time an all-female team wins The Amazing Race in history.

Qdoba

There's a new one in Dinkytown, beside Potbelly!! Mmmmm!!!

Job Dissatisfaction

After two and a half years at this company, my boss, whom I've said a total of 20 words to, messaged me out of the blue to ask if I wanted to get a cup of coffee and discuss my job. Wow, that is pathetic on his part. Don't get me wrong, this is one of the things I actually like about my company. Not having to deal with bullshit performance reviews and pretending to care about my work. Funny thing is he actually mentioned doing this same thing around Christmas when he delivered my bonus, but never heard from him when it came time to set up a meeting.

A date is scheduled on my calendar for later this week so it should be interesting, seeing as how I'm way beyond faking satisfaction with my job. I refuse to muster enough energy to hide my discontent. It's likely that in response, I'll hear a trail of lies regarding "potential opportunities" he'll look into which means absolutely nothing. I guarantee I won't hear back from him. That's how things work at my company.

First Dog Sitting Gig

So I believe I am scheduled to dog sit for two dogs, a Husky (Lola) and an Australian Shepherd mix (Jersey). It's just for a long weekend, Thursday-Sunday, but I have to say I am rather excited for it. A tad nervous too, since I have no experience with those two breeds, both very strong, powerful dogs, but I think it will be fun!!

Massive Monday Headache

I thought about inserting the word 'migraine' in place of 'headache' for the alliteration factor, but I've never had a migraine. In fact, I rarely get headaches, with the exception of caffeine-induced ones, but I've had this bitch of a headache for the last four hours now!!

What a way to start a Monday...

Girl Crush

I met someone last night. We instantly bonded, had great chemistry. We share similar interests such as working out, fashion and judging people. Yes, this person is a she. She is a co-worker of a friend of mine. We first met at happy hour, and in talking, discovered we have a lot in common.

Meeting people is not really one of my things, especially women with all that unspoken animosity. Is she cuter than me? Is she thinner than me? Is she dressed better than me? It's awkward and uncomfortable and forced. But I immediately liked this girl. I warmed to her honesty, particularly when she readily admitted to her judgmental tendencies. I knew we'd get along right then and there.

My favorite part of the evening was when she asked what kind of guys I like. After hearing my description, she said, "So you like IT guys." I'd never thought of it that way before! Pretty sure we are NOT attracted to the same type of men.

We separated from the rest of the group so it turned out to be kind of a crazy night filled with lots of bar hopping and dancing. I guess that's what happens when you start drinking at happy hour and stay out 'til 3:45. The most interesting for me was going to Visage, the club where Tropix used to be. It looks nothing like it did back then! Wow. Aren't I too old for this?!?

So we exchanged phone numbers. All night, we both kept telling each other how glad we were that we met. I hope she calls. I wonder if the 3-day rule applies to same-sex hetero friendships.

Weeds -- Best Season Finale Ever

Wow, the Season 2 finale of Weeds blew me away!!! Just spent a lazy afternoon catching up on the show. There were so many shocking twists! Amazing. Now that is what you call a cliff-hanger. Cannot wait for season 3!

The Office: Barrel of Laughs

The Office was great last night, as usual. Loved Jim's (John Krasinski) imitation of Dwight (Rainn Wilson), especially the bit about the black bear! Classic Dwight-ism. Closing segment was equally entertaining with Dwight's miserable attempt to mimick Jim.

Fitness Fair Hoopla

"Do you wanna go to the fitness fair?" she asks, my co-worker with the 5'2," 200-lb frame and sky-rocketing blood pressure, moments after devouring an apple fritter and chocolate cake doughnut.

"Um, no thanks."

Stretching is Not Overrated

As if I didn't have that pounded into my head every high school track practice by my coach. Yet for some reason, I choose to skip out on warm-ups, cool-downs and stretching during my workouts. Mr. Ertl would be so disappointed. I'd so much rather get it over and done with despite knowing I'm cheating myself out of getting the best results from my workout and potentially preventing injury. My negligence got the best of me the other day when I developed the WORST charley horse in my right calf. Two days later, it's still a little sore. I may have to start stretching. I also need to search online for arm exercises using free weights. My arms looked fat and flabby in pictures taken of me last weekend. Ugh. Didn't run yesterday, had to stay late at work. Today is no good either, which means I can't slack (use excuse of hangover recovery) Saturday and Sunday like I typically do.

Farewell Addison (You'll Hardly be Missed)

Last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy was rather weak with the highlight being the humorous penis fish incident. The speculative reason for the two-hour episode next week is the backdoor pilot for the spin-off, Private Practice, starring Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh). Never been fond of her. She has moments where I start to like her, but it's always overlooked by her stagnant role with dead-end storylines. Last night they tried to create drama by having her choose between McSteamy (Eric Dane) and Alex (Justin Chambers), but that was a major snooze fest. Been there, done that. They couldn't come up with something better than that? So it looks like she will soon be moving to Santa Monica to start a new life (including a baby?) opposite Taye Diggs as the new McDreamy. Doesn't really sound too promising, but worth checking out.

"Where's My Hard Drive?"

One of my co-workers, a woman in her mid-fifties, had her outdated PC replaced with a new laptop and docking station yesterday. Utterly confused by the change, she kept pointing to her new laptop, asking, "So where's my hard drive?"

Idol: A Good Cause Gone Bad

I hope you didn't waste 120 minutes of your life watching last night's episode of American Idol. Or more importantly, I hope you didn't cough up a portion of your hard-earned paycheck to vote for your favorite Idol under false pretenses it would keep him/her safe. At the end of the show, the "biggest shock" was to reveal they couldn't kick anyone off during "charity week" so the votes from this week will be added to next week when two contestants will get the boot. Granted, they raised $30 million for charity due to the 70 million votes they received. But why lie to viewers by not telling them beforehand??

While Ellen DeGeneres' $100,000 contribution is admirable, did the judges match her generosity? It seemed rather disingenous to watch filthy-rich millionaires, Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest, exploit the misfortune of a young, African boy to encourage viewers to make a charitable donation. Undeniably, poverty awareness is important, and for that, the show deserves credit. However, the least they could have done was solicit donations in a sincere way, such as informing viewers no one was leaving this week, but their votes would still be going toward a good cause.

Screen of Death Reappears

About a year and a half ago, a blue screen popped up on my laptop that said, "beginning physical dump of memory." When I asked my IT friend about it, he told me in IT world, that is referred to as the "screen of death." Hence I would eventually need to replace my hard drive. At which point, I was advised to purchase a hard drive from Newegg.com, which I did, and my friend was nice enough to install it for me and everything. Pretty sure I also purchased a 3 year warranty with my hard drive through newegg, but I have no idea where my receipt is. How is it possible the screen of death came back to haunt me only a year and a half after replacing my hard drive? I'm gonna be so pissed if I have to buy a new computer or hard drive again! Why do my computers always crash?!? Although, if I do have to buy a new one, I'd really, really like a macbook!! Guess it's time to finally put that external hard drive I got for Christmas to use.

This is Why I Hate Work

My co-worker insisted I looked like a bumblebee today because I wore a yellow top, black pants and white sweater. Tomorrow, I'm going for ladybug.

I've had that god-awful This is Why I'm Hot song stuck in my head all day!

Brody Gets Zapped

Yesterday he was in for a shock, literally. The system, PetSafe, uses the same concept as invisible fencing, and it's a third of the cost. It is a portable, wireless safe zone for dogs within 90 feet of the transmitter.

There are 5 levels of shock settings, 5 being the highest. My brother put the collar on his wrist and stepped over the boundary, first on level 2, then 3. He said there was a big leap between 2 and 3, but my parents wanted to make sure 3 was enough to teach Brody, so they tried it out.

The instant he crossed over, ears and tail down, he ran for dear life, making a beeline for the house, dragging my mom behind him on the other end of the leash. He knows the collar is responsbile so he now refuses to even step outside if it's around his neck.

Funny story about a family friend's dog. Their Golden Retriever/Husky mix, Maya, was introduced to invisible fencing recently. A neighbor was out walking their little Yorkie one day and Maya couldn't resist going up to say 'hello.' Maya got zapped and now every time she sees the Yorkie, she's terrified and runs and hides behind the house.

Brody Goes to Obedience School

Yes, he does. He's only had two classes thus far, yet he's already received two doses of lemon juice in his mouth for snarling at classmates. He was instructed not to make eye contact with the other dogs. It was recommended by the veterinarian he enroll in school to develop socialization skills after he displayed aggressive behavior toward the Culligan man.

New Record

I was dreading going back indoors to the treadmill yesterday, but I had positive results. Usually it takes me a long time to build up speed, gradually increasing with each mile. But I started off strong, running at 6.5. Then at the 2-mile mark, my shoelace came untied. Could there be anything more annoying?!? I always pause my machine because I don't trust myself to be able to get back on at the same pace without falling off. So I lost all my momentum and struggled the next couple miles to regain my stride. It did get easier, however, around 5 miles, particularly when I realized I was beating my old record from a few weeks ago when I mentioned doing 6 miles in 57:18. This time I did 6 in 55:24, so I was very pleased!! Oh, and I was surrounded by three men, all of whom I outran. Must have been the new techno workout album I downloaded from iTunes.

Entourage: 'Sex & the City' in Male Form

Before I saw Entourage, a guy friend of mine described it as "Sex & the City" for men. It really is. Only not as good (call me biased). But like SATC, they both offer honest, humorous insight as to how the male/female mind works. I enjoyed the episode from Season 3 called, "Three's Company," where Eric's girlfriend, Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui), offers to do a threesome with her and her friend, Tori. The following morning, Eric (Kevin Connolly) wakes up spooning (or "cuddling" as he refers to it) Tori instead of Sloan. So funny and awkward!

Too bad Sloan is WAY too hot for Eric and given her personality, I doubt she'd be so quick to agree to that in the first place. It also gets weird on the next episode when Eric starts falling for Tori. Doesn't seem all that realistic to me, but oh well. Show is very entertaining!

Ari is my favorite character. I imagine it's difficult to play a likeable asshole, so kudos to Jeremy Piven. He makes the show!

Work Perfumery

Boyfriend have a birthday coming up? How 'bout giving him some new cologne? Avoid the mall with all those annoying sales associates and visit my work, where there is a diverse variety of scents for you to sample on living, breathing, males!

It smells like a perfume bar every morning at work. The male group of IT nerds in the section of cubes across from me participate in a daily contest to see who can lather themselves in the most cologne.

When I leave work for the day, I'm hit with round two, only this time it's a different group of offenders. The cleaning crew congregates in the hall and janitorial closet so I have no way to bypass the cloud of cologne to exit. For some reason, they find it necessary to use double the amount of the IT guys.

I like cologne, but not when it overpowers. YUCK.

Target Addiction

Last night I stopped at SuperTarget with a few things in mind. I needed:

* a new iron -- dropped mine one too many times, finally died
* a tennis racket -- the grip on the old one I stole from my parents' garage wears off into the palm of your hand
* Diet Mountain Dew -- obsessed with it

2 hours and $200 later, I left the store with a cart full of crap I don't need. Bought some groceries, a new garbage can for my bathroom, two Memory Foam pillows, and other odds and ends. I was definitely in the mood to spend money last night. I saw a million other things I would have liked to buy!

Today, for the first time in a long time, I packed a lunch for work. Looking forward to not having to eat nasty cafeteria food! If only grocery shopping weren't my most hated chore, I'd bring my lunch more often since that would mean my fridge would be stocked with food.

I'm Back

Another humdrum day at work. I am in a drab mood. And yes, in case anyone is reading this, I suck for not blogging. I will try to make up for it today. So this is just a random post of what I've been up to.

My workouts have nearly been non-existent. Friday after work, I exited the freeway early because traffic was slowed much more so than usual. That turned out to be a big mistake. With the building of the new Gopher stadium, there is all this construction underway on University. Due to closed lanes, I sat in even more traffic than I would have encountered had I stayed on the freeway. Of course I chose to wear a black sweater that day and the sun was beating down on me so I was impatiently miserable. By the time I got home, running was at the bottom of my priority list. So I skipped Friday and Saturday.

Sunday I got up early with my dog, Brody, and we went for a run through my parents' neighborhood, but he was difficult to manage. Running before me, he zig-zagged his way from one mailbox to the next, sniffing out every little scent he caught wind of. It was a short, slow run. I had to go back to my parents' yesterday after work because I forgot my phone charger so I tried running with him again, and it was another awful run. Last week I ran outside every day but I know that I don't run as hard as when I am on the treadmill, so I think today I will hit the gym in hopes of a good workout.

Spent most of the weekend hanging out with the dogs, Max and Brody. My parents were in Menomonie visiting my brother at Stout for parents' weekend. They were good boys except for when Brody decided to ditch me and took off 90 miles an hour so I had to chase him down.

I caught up on a lot of TV/movies. I watched Entourage, The Office, Notes on a Scandal, Stranger Than Fiction, Weeds. Ever since my friend told me about this site, where you can watch TV shows and movies without downloading them, I've been a frequent visitor. Weeds is such a phenomenal show. The characters are all so unique and fully developed, and the dialogue so witty and humorous. I don't get Showtime or HBO or even MTV for that matter, so I am behind on the good shows. I had been eagerly waiting for the second season of Weeds to come out on DVD, but now I don't have to! After Weeds, I plan to watch Six Feet Under, which I've seen a few episodes of, but can't wait to watch the rest on the site.

Stranger Than Fiction Review

This will be short and sweet. Finally got around to seeing this movie after hearing so many mixed reviews. For the most part, people I know enjoyed it, but I was hesitant since many writers bashed it. I understand their disdain, but I think they are probably more focused on how it portrays the writing process. Given the unbelievable storyline, I thought it was a pretty decent movie. I liked Will Ferrell. I thought he was good in a role that wasn't over-the-top. Funny, yet made you think, original. My favorite part is when Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) decides to take up the guitar and the book narrator, Kay Eiffel (Emma Thompson), describes what all the different guitars say about the guitarist who plays them. Coincidentally, learning to play guitar is on my to-do list as well. Oh, and Maggie Gyllenhaall looked very cute.

Notes on a Scandal: In Review

Thoroughly enjoyed every second of this movie. I made the mistake of sitting down to watch with a full plate of my mom's spaghetti (my favorite food, she makes the BEST sauce), but had to stop five minutes into it because I couldn't eat and watch at the same time. The dialogue, particularly the narration by Barbara Covett (Judi Dench) as written her diary, was THAT engrossing.

The subject matter is sensitive, as it is about a school teacher, Sheba Hart (Cate Blanchett), who has an affair with her fifteen-year-old student. But the film is actually about the relationship between Barbara Covett and Sheba Hart. Barbara, an older teacher at the same school, London's St. George School, has this to say about her students as she watches them walk into school:

"Here come the local pubescent prowls. The future plumbers, shop assistants, and probably terrorists too. In the old days, we confiscated cigarettes and whack mags. Now it's knives and crack cocaine. And they call it progress."

When Sheba comes to the school as a new art teacher, Barbara has nothing but nasty observations to document in her diary:

"Hard to read the wispy novice. Is she a sphinx or simply stupid? Artfully disheveled today. The tweedy tramp coat is an abhorrence. It seems to say ‘I’m just like you.’ But clearly she’s not. A fey person, I suspect. Fey. She’s certainly rippled the waters in our stagnant pond. They flock to her. Even limp little Brian had a go. Oh, the horror. And Fatty Hodges pounced on her. A dubious double act. The blonde and the pig in knickers."

Yet when Sheba wants to be friends, Barbara quickly becomes receptive to her. Their friendship intensifies when Barbara learns of Sheba's affair and grows from there; I don't want to reveal too much of the plotline here.

One of my favorite quotes by Barbara, as she converses with Sheba:

"People anguish for years with partners who are clearly from another planet. We want so much to believe that we've found our other. It takes courage to recognize the real as opposed to the convenient."

The well-stated reality of life.

Acting performances by Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett are outstanding. Fond appreciation of the unpredictable, eloquent dialogue. Possibly a few holes in the storyline, but excellent film.

Mmm. Food.

It's a good thing I don't count calories. Here's all I've eaten today:

-- Mixed berry yogurt
-- Turkey sandwich from Potbelly
-- Oreo shake from Potbelly
-- 1 oz. bag of Cheez-its
-- 1 oz. Twizzlers licorice

Did you know Potbelly delivers? The Woodbury one does anyway. I soooo plan on ordering!!

Ask Someone Out Via Evite

"Go to Evite.com and arrange a small party...so small that the only invitees are you and your date."

Wow, Evite? That's pretty lame, just like this article. Why do I click on this garbage?

Virginia Tech Shooting

In the deadliest shooting rampage in U.S. history, Virginia Tech student Cho Seung-Hui killed 32 of his classmates and professors April 16, 2007. I'm sort of at a loss for words. My thoughts are with all those involved and everyone at Virginia Tech. I realize that sounds so cliché, but how do you find the words to express your feelings in a situation such as this? A friend of mine is an alum and I can only imagine what he is going through...

Here's the disturbing video he mailed to NBC during the two-hour lapse between killings at West Ambler Johnston Hall and Norris Hall.

Sanjaya's Reign Comes to an End

It's about damn time!

Simon Cowell's Television Debut

Check out Simon as a 30-year-old on a 90's game show.

That woman beside him has HOT glasses!

Run.

So while everyone else thoroughly enjoyed Monday's weather, I struggled outdoors to make it 4.5 miles; the heat makes my body want to shut down. Yesterday, however, was about ten degrees cooler and had the perfect breeze. I did 6 miles, through the back streets of NE, which strayed from my normal course, something I rarely do. I am hoping for another day (weather-wise and workout-wise) like that today.

Notes on a Scandal

My all-time favorite movie is Closer, written as a play and adapted as a screenplay by Patrick Marber. Not until recently, did I realize he also did the adaptation for the film, Notes on a Scandal, based on the novel What was she Thinking? [Notes on a Scandal] A Novel by Zoe Heller. I remember going to the movie theatre, seeing the title of this film, having never heard of it. Much later, probably around Oscar time since it was nominated for 4 Oscars, including best actress (Judi Dench) and best supporting actress (Cate Blanchett) did I come across a description of the movie:

"A pottery teacher (Blanchett) enters into an affair with one of her students, causing upheaval in her personal and professional lives."

It came out on DVD yesterday so I went ahead and bought it. Perhaps a review will follow...

Eating for Two

Not literally. Don't go starting rumors. For me, working out not only means double the laundry, but double the food intake! Last night I ate two Lean Cuisine pizzas. Seriously, how are people full after just one? I had yogurt with granola this morning, yet I am starving!! It used to be that I would never be hungry before 11 and I never ate breakfast, but I no longer can go skipping the most important meal of the day. Oh, and why do I sometimes crave sweets? I don't even have a sweet tooth. Is it possible there's a correlation between working out and sweet cravings? Right now, I am so hungry that even the bland sandwich on day-old bread from the cafeteria sounds good!

Wanted: Part-Time Boyfriend

Your job duties will include the following:

* Accompany me on errands with sole purpose of carrying heavy or bulky items
* Reach miscellaneous household items in high places
* Remove tightly sealed caps and assist with all household chores that require upper body strength, or just plain strength for that matter
* Answer all my tech-related questions and responsible for proper functioning of all home electronics

Please send resume, cover letter (free of spelling, grammar and punctuation errors) and photo by 12/12/1212.

Max Update

Max seems to have made a recovery. Not only is he up and walking around, but he even ventured into the pond over the weekend! My mom continually adds more dog food and less human food to his meals every day. He still wakes up in the middle of the night panting and has a hoarse cough, but he has made definite progress. He has not made a full turn-around, and probably never will, but it is so good to see an improvement in his health.

Running of the Pigs: 5K Fun Run

The Running of the Pigs was a great experience. I'm glad we chose to do a race with fewer participants as our first one so it wasn't too intimidating. I saw online somewhere that there were about 400 people, which seems about right, maybe more like 350.

After a rough Friday evening, I got a really good night's sleep the following night. I awoke at 7 am on race day feeling like a new person! The race wasn't until 10:30, but Kim arrived at my place at 9 since we had no idea how early we needed to be there. It definitely helped that it was a beautiful morning! The race location was Midway Stadium and as part of the deal, we paid $25 (plus a $2 fee if you registered online) and received a black, long-sleeved shirt that said what else, 'Running of the Pigs' with a picture of a pig. We checked in and received our numbers, mine was 1107, and we were stoked when we found out we could use MP3 players. Very happy with my iPod shuffle by the way!

It was sunny but chilly in the morning, so we sat in my car before the race, talking and making notes of the other runners. We played the game of "male or female" with one ambiguous identity parked a few cars down. The course for the race was extremely boring. It was running down Energy Park Drive so there wasn't much to see along the way. There were competitors of all ranges, from serious runners to walkers pushing their children in strollers to joggers with dogs. At the start, we were behind a group of older women wearing pipecleaners curled like a pig tail. There also was one gentleman beside us who acted as the cheerleader. He was hollering, "Woo hoo, running of the pigs! Let's hear an 'oink oink'!"

The $25 registration fee also included a lunch meal and a St. Paul Saints ticket. We weren't expecting much for the meal, but were pleasantly surprised to hear they were serving Buca's (one of the sponsors). Salad, spaghetti, fettucine, bread and tiramisu!! It was pretty good. All in all, we both enjoyed our first run and are looking forward to the next one.

How Lazy Can One Be??

In a building with the world's slowest elevators, who takes the elevator from the 2nd to the 1st floor? The numbers would surprise you! Take the stairs dammit!!!

Massive Pile of Laundry

One major downside to working out is...twice as much laundry!! Yes, that is what currently requires my attention. Although out of all chores, I will say that laundry is probably my least hated. I always feel such a sense of accomplishment once I've finished. And my apartment will smell so fresh and so clean!

The Most Disgusting Contest

Never been one to get grossed out easily, I have a high tolerance for disgusting things. After all, I grew up sharing a bathroom with two boys. I generally find bathroom humor amusing. But the KDWB morning show took it to a whole new level this week. To win tickets to their annual Star Party, they had Steve-O go to someone's house, take a dump (no flush or fan allowed) and then the female contestant had to go in the bathroom and eat an egg mcmuffin and hashbrowns. Is that just not wrong?!?!

Getting My Hair Did

Went to the Aveda Institute Saturday for a partial foil and haircut. The first and only time I went there, I lucked out and got a student who was really good with highlights. Actually, there were two students because I had a full foil, so they each did one side. The right side (done by the more experienced student) is blended very nicely, while the left side has a few big blonde chunks. You can request students when you get to your appointment, but of course I had the girl's card in my other purse, so I couldn't request her.

The girl I had this time around wasn't nearly as confident as the previous one, but she did an okay job. However, the left side has more blonde than I would have liked. Also, I've been impatiently waiting for my hair to grow back after donating it, so I needed a trim, but the student only trimmed the bottom half of my hair and didn't bother with the shorter layers. After sitting in a chair for four hours, trying not to doze off, I didn't say anything, but she didn't even ask where I parted my hair! I'm not so sure I will go back when I need to get my hair done again. Or maybe I will just go darker next time.

Brunette and frumpy-looking, the client next to me was a trip. Arriving several minutes after me, I heard her tell her stylist in a raspy, monotone voice, "It's been a really rough year so I am more than willing to do something drastic." A thirty-year-old hair dye virgin, she'd decided to go blonde. Flipping through photos, her stylist helped her pick out a shade, saying, "I really like your natural hair color so I think it'd be best if we went two to three shades lighter than what you are now." As part of their grade, the stylist enlisted the advice of her instructor, which gave Frumpy another opportunity to repeat her sob story.

She didn't go into too many of the details, but I suspect it had something to do with a divorce since she mentioned an ex-husband at one point. She seemed nervous about coloring her hair, as she kept repeating, "I've never done this before, but I really need a change," It was a little sad, frankly. It really seemed like the poor woman just needed a friend or someone to talk to. While she didn't divulge too much information, her repetitive hints appeared to be an invitation for someone to ask about her situation. While the stylist did no such thing, hopefully she gave her a major confident boost because the woman looked really nice when all was said and done. It was like a before and after make-over!

Beware of the Grape Ape

My friend I was out with sent this to me...

beware of the grape ape

The Night of Grape Apes & Stripper Smell

So last night was kind of horrible. 3 1/2 grape ape shots within 15 minutes, I was "in the bag" as an old college friend loved to say. It was not a pleasant experience! I walked home from the bar, which I have never done before, but it was nice out and the fresh air helped. But I have never felt so dizzy and disoriented in my life.

Before my early departure, I was with two guy friends of mine and we passed a woman on the street, who apparently had "stripper smell." Unaware such a thing existed, I asked for clarification. They both claimed it is the smell of really expensive perfume, when a woman's body is covered from head-to-toe. Hmmm...her perfume had a very sweet aroma!

Genuinely Nice People

I'll preface this by saying I know I need to work on my social skills. I generally have to step out of my comfort zone to engage in conversation with complete strangers and acquaintances. If I don't feel an instantaneous connection or bond, I struggle to maintain interest, which usually results in silence or stand-offish behavior on my part, often misinterpreted as "shy."

Honestly, I'm always a little shocked when I meet genuinely nice people. I tend to avoid small talk with strangers because a.) there's simply no point, I am never going to see this person again b.) awkward silence is inevitable. Imagine my surprise when I successfully managed to converse with not one, but two nice strangers in the past two days. The first was a vulture in the Lifetime parking lot. He pulled up behind me in a red Ford Escort, rolled down his window and asked if I was parked way down at the end. He actually apologized for having to follow me to my car. We bitched about the lack of parking spots and he informed they sometimes tow from the bank parking lot, located directly behind our lot. Good to know!! I probably would have parked there, if need be.

I met another nice guy in the elevator of my apartment last night. When I entered my building through the garage, he was exiting, but then back tracked to hold the door for me. That almost never happens here! By the time door guy came back in, I was still waiting for the dreadfully slow elevator. Apparently, he'd been up to his apartment only to realize he'd forgotten something in his car. Turns out, he lives on my floor, a few doors down. Our garage is on the lower level so we were stopped at the first floor, where two U of M students got on, talking about course registration. They didn't bother to push the "door close" button. If you knew just how slow the elevators were, you'd understand my impatience!

After they got off on the 4th floor, door guy and I resumed conversation to discuss how annoying it is having to stop on the 1st floor all the time and getting stuck with people who refuse to push the "door close" button. When we exited the elevator, he walked two to three steps ahead of me. He kept speaking as he walked, but he was rushing. Perhaps he felt awkward or I felt the girlfriend vibe. Like maybe he was worried his live-in girlfriend would round the corner and chew him out for making conversation with a member of the opposite sex. Who knows though. I do odd things for no particular reason all the time!

Moral of the story, if you want to converse with me, I prefer to complain about things out of my control!

Sweatin' with the Oldies

What's up with all the old, sweaty, smelly guys following me around the club? That sums up Wednesday's workout. I felt claustrophobic on the treadmill, sandwiched between two of them, one being a really big guy. I'm constantly paranoid a drop of sweat is going to land on me or my machine and I am going to freak out. In addition to the sweat factor, I had to deal with a noise issue when lo and behold, the oh-so-reliable iPod stopped mid-workout. After I silently cursed it out, I was then forced to listen to the dude next to me gasp for air for the next twenty minutes. I need music to zone out and cancel any such noise distractions!



Fed up, I drove directly to Target afterwards and purchased the iPod shuffle. It's pink and tiny! I was concerned about owning two iPod's per one computer because I'd heard that caused problems in the past to prevent anti-piracy, but apparently it's no longer an issue. I made sure to Google it before I opened the package. It's more of an issue if there are two people sharing one computer, which is then best to set up separate user accounts on the computer. Otherwise, it said that all you have to do is create different playlists for each iPod. I'll continue to use the old P.O.S, just not for working out. It has been known to freeze once or twice when I've been adjusting the song, but eventually, I'll get around to replacing it.

"Children are for people who can't have dogs." -- Author Unknown

Somber news to report on my family's thirteen-year-old golden retriever, Max. His health seems to have taken a drastic turn for the worse. Monday afternoon he was with my parents at our cabin -- they went up for the day to meet with a couple builders since they are planning to tear down and re-build our cabin. While they were there, Max's back legs completely gave out, causing him to collapse.

Frail and unable to walk, they took him to a vet in Pequot Lakes. She thinks he has a large tumor in his stomach that ruptured and started bleeding so she gave him some herbal pills to stop the bleeding. Tuesday morning and afternoon, he couldn't walk. My parents placed him on a rug, both grabbing one end of it, to carry him from their bedroom to the living room to the front yard, etc. He started walking later on Tuesday and appeared to be doing better yesterday morning, but now he isn't doing as well as we hoped.

I haven't gone to see him yet, but my mom tells me he just looks sad and pathetic. For a dog, he has a tremendous variety of facial expressions, sadness is written all over his face. He's extremely slow to get up and move around. He refuses to eat his dog food which means my mom is busy cooking chicken, hamburger and casseroles for his meals. He appeared to be in good health and spirits up to this point so this comes as a shock. In fact, he'd just been to the vet for his heartworm check-up and we were told he was in good health for his age -- no idea how they missed that tumor. We thought we'd at least have one more summer with him at our cabin, but things aren't looking so optimistic anymore. My family puts the needs of that dog before ourselves so this is rather devastating, to say the least.

Fake 'n Spray: My First Mystic Tan Experience

Doesn't really have the same ring, does it? Failed to come up with an original name for it. Not a regular at the tanning salon, in fact, I hadn't gone for over a year and that was in preparation for a trip to the Bahamas. However, seeing my pale skin when surrounded by floor-length mirrors, under flourescent lighting at the gym has served as a daily reminder of how sickly I look, thus prompting me to re-visit Planet Beach. Oh, and in case I ever forget for a minute, there are always a handful of women with toned bodies and bronzed tans at the gym who really know how to give you a complex!

In the good old days (my high school years), there was simply one kind of tanning bed. They all looked the same, neutral in color and you had to lie flat on your back. They later invented the beds where you could stand, but the idea of standing never appealed to me. My God, how times change! Now when you walk through the door of a tanning salon, the employees bust out a 4" three-ring binder and bombard you with a crapload of package options, guaranteed to make your head spin.

Not only are there a multitude of beds to choose from, but then there's an explanation of what each one does and heaven forbid, you enter a bed without purchasing one of their skin care products like a moisturizer or bronzer!! Tanning beds these days look like they're from the set of some futuristic, sci-fi flick! Call me old-fashioned, or just plain old, but frankly, they intimidate me! They have fancy paint jobs to make them look very sleek -- shiny red mixed with a silver sparkly color and smooth, curvy lines. They look more like a vehicle and they are about the same size. Many of them fill an entire room! Put-off by the monstrous machines (oh yeah, and dangerous UV rays), I decided to try the new (er, not-so-new) mystic tan, or spray-on tan.

Perhaps like me, you saw the Friends episode, The One with Ross's Tan, where Ross, after admiring his sister's tan, decides to try mystic tan. The employee gives him the instructions, which he fails to remember, so he ends up getting sprayed four times on his back and none on his front. That was my only first-hand knowledge as to how these booths worked, so I was a little hesitant going into it. Luckily, my experience was nothing like that.

The Planet Beach "special" has been going on for at least two years! Buy one, get one free for $30. The employee insisted since I hadn't done any moisturizing that day, I buy $3 moisturizing cloths for the ultimate tanning experience (ok, she didn't say it like that, but she was cleverly convincing), then after she swiped my credit card, supposedly realized, "Oh wait, they were $5." She asked me about color options (light, medium, dark) so she suggested dark and selected one other option for me. Still unclear what that was, but it was based on when you will shower next.

So she took me back to the room and rattled off the instructions and a short demo, which you wouldn't think would be so complicated. I've never been too good with verbal instructions, just ask my 9th grade lab partner. Fortunately, they have a handy checklist framed on the dark purple wall.

First, undress and remove jewelry. Second, put on shower cap and eye goggles. Third, apply some cream to your hands and feet, including your cuticles and between your fingers and toes. Next, apply the moisturizing cloths to your entire body (only suckers need adhere). The door to the booth opens and closes by censored touch. A robotic female voice says,"door opening" and "door closing." Then wave your hand at another censor to activate the spray and assume the proper position. As the employee demonstrated, you must stand with your legs shoulder-width apart and your arms out, almost at a 90 degree angle. When you turn completely around, to do your back, you want your arms to remain distanced from your body, but move your hands so they are in front of your body.The robot's voice delivers the instructions while you mentally prepare for a shockingly cold blast to your entire body (she left this part out)! The spray-on tan odor is probably the worst part. It's intoxicating. I wanted to cough, but was afraid I would inhale the spray if I opened my mouth. Kinda like when some tool walks by and you can actually taste their cheap cologne in the back of your throat. I didn't wear goggles so the spray irritated my contacts a bit, even an hour afterwards, but since I wear [obsolete] hard contacts, they were probably more sensitive to the spray.

Once you step out, they emphasize the importance of rubbing down from head-to-toe with the towel to prevent orange marks. Particularly in places people commonly forget like the back of their knees, throat, and elbows. I think I did a pretty good job with removing most of the spray. My hands look kind of orange today and I have one streak on my elbow, but not such a big deal. Overall, it was a pretty positive experience. It's definitely not as relaxing as lying in a tanning bed, which especially sounds good on a day like today with snow in April! It's the opposite really, with the cold blast of fumes and whatnot. On the other hand, I know I'm much darker than I would be if I had used the basic tanning bed, not to mention exposure-free of UV rays, but I'll have to see how long this "tan" lasts to know if it's worth the money...

Blah Kind of Day

Decided to brave the cold and headed outside yesterday. The temperature was perfect for me, but I could've done without the wind. All in all, it was a decent run. I was expecting to be sore from Monday, but to my pleasant surprise, I wasn't. I intended to take it easy, but ran further than planned because the fresh air was a nice change of pace. Mostly hard-core runners were out (me being an exception), dressed in their spandex leggings and matching jackets, but the weather wasn't so bad, probably looked much worse than it was. Here's hoping for nicer weather come Running of the Pigs!

My energy level has taken a dive. I don't share the same enthusiasm I once did. A month ago, I remember actually looking forward to my workouts. That feeling has dissipated. Now it is back to feeling more like a chore. I mean, you still feel great afterwards, but I never really see much results. I'm not really trying to lose weight, just build muscle and get toned. My arms and upper body need work, but I despise lifting. Eventually, I'll be forced to add weights to my workouts. It's great to know I can run 6 miles now, but just feeling sort of apathetic at the moment. Maybe it's the weather today.

Accident-Prone

Last night during a commercial break of The King of Queens, I took my trash to the garbage chute, located waaay at the opposite end of the hallway. Not wanting to miss a split-second of the final 7 episodes, I rushed back, giving a forceful shove to open the metal door of my apartment only to unexpectedly slam into the closet door I'd partially left ajar. Right before the two doors collided, my left hand got wedged between the two, so my fingers took the brunt of the force. Still a little sore today. Had another mishap this morning with the other hand. While taking a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, my ring got caught on a plastic piece that is part of interior of the fridge. Not exactly sure of the purpose of this hook-shaped part, but I have a scar on my right hand from a scrape several months back. Hopefully I don't slip and break a bone today with the way things are going.

p.s. why do we add a "d" when we abbreviate "refrigerator?"

Smart Dog Retrieves Ball

From The Ellen DeGeneres Show:



Now that's a brilliant dog!!

K-Fed in Sin City Over Easter Weekend

K-Fed at Jet nightclub at The Mirage celebrating the finalization of his divorce. Popazao!!!

Treadmill Redemption

My run today completely made up for yesterday...I did 6 miles in 57:18! I can't remember the last time I even ran 6 miles. Been a long, long time. Very happy with that.

So I don't understand the parking situation at the Woodbury Lifetime. I got there at 4:05 today and I had to follow someone to their car to get a spot. That was at 4 pm! I could understand that being the case around 5:30, but I can't believe the lot was full so early. They most definitely need to expand their parking lot. Every time I leave the club, I have a train of vehicles vying for my spot. I feel like the prey of vultures! It's frustrating to pay all that money for the membership when the club doesn't have nearly enough parking spaces to accommodate their members.

Wish the weather would get nicer so I could get outside for a run!

"Fashion" in the Workplace

This morning while walking into work, I couldn't help but notice the young man a couple steps ahead of me. To start, he wore faded, mossy green khakis. Awful color. But to make matters worse, the pants were two inches too short (my biggest clothing pet peeve). With every stride, his pant leg rose above his ankle, only to reveal WHITE socks. Highwaters with white socks...I see it daily!

Then at lunch, I saw three men sporting the navy blue/black color combination. Navy trousers, black belt, black socks. Ugh, I can spot that a mile away! It's not just the men, either. Just the other day, I was behind a woman in line for the ATM with ratted 80's hair. Seriously. She must have spent a good 20 minutes with the comb and the hairspray. Every which way you look, there's an array of quilted sweaters decked out with pine trees, hearts, American flags and other cheesy patterns that would be perfect to borrow next time someone throws an "ugly sweater party."

Beer Goggles Formula

"A poll showed that 68% of people had regretted giving their phone number to someone to whom they later realised they were not attracted."

Does this scenario sound familiar? Did you meet a member of the opposite sex in a dimly-lit club over the weekend? Wanna find out the beer goggle effect? Here's a mathematical formula!!

Check it out.

Running of the Pigs

My friend Kim and I are doing this 5K run/walk next weekend in St. Paul. Kind of exciting since it will be the first competitive race for both of us (not including track in high school). She was the one who encouraged me to run long distance in the first place. Too bad I am nowhere near the same physical condition I was back then! It also doesn't help that I have been getting my 2nd wind around 3.5 miles (this is only 3.1 m) lately. Oh well, still looking forward to my first 5K!

It's Not You, It's Your Apartment

"Most people, however, will never know how their homes sabotaged their romance. They operate under the assumption that if the garbage has been discarded and the dog hair removed, the house is romance-ready."

Interesting article. There is a lot to be said about someone based on their home. First impressions are everything! Reminds me of the humorous scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin where Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell) has a date planned with Trish Piedmont (Catherin Keener) so his friends insist he hide his action figures before she arrives.

Andy: You guys, she's picking me up in an hour.
David: Oh, drag, dude.
Cal: She's picking you up from here?
Andy: Yeah.
Cal: That's fucked up, man.
Andy: Why?
Cal: Why? Seriously? I mean, look at this place, man. You gotta see this through the eyes of a woman, you know? What is she going to think when she comes in here? 'Look! He's got a billion toys!'
Andy: So what?
Cal: And more video games than a teenaged Asian kid.
Andy: ...Okay.
Cal: [Pointing to an action figure on a shelf] Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's Boss?
Andy: That's Oscar Goldman.
Cal: Why do you have that?
Andy: That's worth a lot of money. That's much more valuable than Steve Austin.
Cal: Well, that may be the case, but none of this shit is sexy, okay?
Andy: I'm not trying to be sexy, man.
Cal: [Pointing to a framed poster] I mean, seriously, Asia? You framed an Asia poster? How hard did the people at the frame store laugh when you brought this in?
Andy: They did not laugh at me.
David: Know why you're gay? Because you like Asia.
Andy: You guys cool it with the gay. You know, she's on her way here, okay?
Cal: First you relax, okay?
Andy: Just stop calming me down and tell me what I should do.
Cal: Okay, we just take everything that's embarrassing and we move it out of here so it doesn't look like you live in Neverland Ranch.

When Trish shows up, Andy's apartment is completely empty.

Consider yourself forewarned: your place could terminate your relationship faster than you can say, 'Neverland Ranch'!

Does MySpace Encourage Drinking?

MySpace - a site where old friends, acquaintances and yes, even complete strangers convene, frequently with the common goal of making plans to consume alcoholic beverages. It takes very little effort to plan: all you need is a date, time and destination. Heck, you can even get it done in one fell swoop by sending out a bulletin to all your friends or posting a blog announcement. Oftentimes, you visit someone's page to find a slideshow in which the person is drunk in 90% of the photos. You see them having a wonderful time, all dressed up in their cutest outfits, surrounded by a group of smiling friends and you think to yourself, hey, that looks fun! You start reminiscing about your fond memories of nights out on the town and realize you can't wait to go out and do it again!! And then you think, maybe I should go out this weekend and get crazy drunk and photograph myself to document what an awesome time I had so I can post proof on my page! The best part is, you should have no problem finding a MySpace "friend" (I use the term lightly) that is more than ready and willing to go out!

In the end, does MySpace inadvertently promote drinking?

Dogs. Just 'Cause.

Two very cute dogs.



(Max, Brody)

"You're 26? Are you Married?"

That's what I've been hearing a lot lately and heard today at Easter brunch from an old friend of my grandmother, who passed away a couple years ago. We bumped into my grandma's childhood friend, Arlene, so my mom insisted she re-introduce us. Apparently, Arlene knew me when I was very young and I vaguely recall speaking to her at the funeral. After her first question regarding my marital status, she made me chuckle when she said, "Make sure you get a good-looking guy." Then she cupped her hand over her mouth so her family wouldn't hear and whispered, "They're more fun." Listen to your elders, right?!

Lousy Workout & iPod Failure

Had to drag myself to the gym this morning. It was nice that it was empty, being Easter and all, but I had a not-so-great workout. I intentionally selected a treadmill beside a woman effortlessly running at 7.1 mph. It motivates me when I am next to someone at an equivalent or faster pace. But when I hit 1.5 miles, my ancient iPod froze on me. This has been a frequent occurrence as of late, not to mention source of most frustration!! Take note of the fucked up scroll bar (and the cool song I was listening to).



I wanted that iPod specifically for running, but little did I realize that given it is a hard drive, it is not designed to be shaken in that fashion. After my iPod crapped out, I struggled to keep going. I ran through a couple side aches, but only made it 3 miles. That was seriously so disappointing. I exercised 5 times this week, but I didn't do Friday or Saturday so I should've had a really good run.

So I am thinking of buying an iPod Shuffle. I think, someone correct me if I'm wrong, that since it's a flash drive, I shouldn't run into the freezing issue. But I am uncertain. I wish I were more tech-savvy!

The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman

I can't believe The Bachelor is still on TV. At least they finally gave us a reason to watch this time around! The new Bachelor, Andy Baldwin, is not only hot, but he's a navy lieutenant, surgeon and top triathlete!! He truly is the perfect man! Oh, and did I forget to mention he does charity work and taught Sunday school? The most entertaining part of the show is watching the cat fights between the women desperately competing for the guy's attention. At least this time, their animosity will be warranted. It's about time ABC chose a worthy bachelor.

When Typos Become Slang

In the last month, I've come across the word "pwn" a couple times. Curious, I Googled it to find this explanation.

Urban dictionary defines Pwn as such:

1. An act of dominating an opponent.

2. Great, ingenious; applied to methods and objects.

Originally dates back to the days of WarCraft, when a map designer mispelled "Own" as "Pwn". What was originally supposed to be "player has been owned" was "player has been pwned".

Pwn eventually grew from there and is now used throughout the online world, especially in online games.

According to Wikipedia, "pwn" is also commonly referred to in the context of getting "pwned" by The Man.

It strikes me as interesting that one individual's slip of a finger on a keyboard in the game of Warcraft has managed to impact the English language. I guess it's just another example of how much technology influences the way we live today.

Are You Hot Enough for Online Dating?

Find out by going to HotEnough.org.

Hopefuls submit three pictures, including one full body shot, and current members must rate their photos an 8 or higher without knowing anything else about the candidate.

Career Envy

In high school, I had this delusion that when I got to college, everything would fall into place for me. I'd receive my degree, meet my husband and we'd both land terrific jobs after graduation. Well, it's been 4 years since I graduated college and I'm very dissatisfied career-wise. How many people are actually fortunate enough to do something they are truly passionate about? Off-hand, I can only recall one friend who is in the perfect field for her. It frustrates me to the point where it interferes with my desire to pursue writing. I wish it had the reverse effect so it would motivate me, not bring me down, but that's not the case. Using this blog as an outlet has definitely been helpful in the short amount of time I've had it, but it's surely not enough to compensate for my discontent.

American Idol Movie

Gotta love Conan!

Chevy's Margarita Craving

Is it strange that I woke up craving one of these?!? Yum!!

Age-Appropriate Clothing

I feel ashamed walking into certain stores, as if the store should implement an age restriction policy of 21 and younger. It's a tad embarrassing purchasing the same tanktop as someone who was still in diapers the day you received your drivers' license! Last weekend at Forever 21 (the name says it all), I tried on a black and white shirt with a floral print. My primary concern when trying on a shirt is how it fits. Is it flattering or does it make me look like a fat cow? Cost, color, and cut are all significant factors. The three C's of clothes shopping, if you will. This shirt passed the test with flying colors, but I vetoed for an entirely different reason: I felt too old.

Five years ago may have been a different story. In fact, I'm positively certain I would have bought that shirt without hesitation in 2002. But as I slowly creep closer and closer to (gasp!) age 27, I would have felt like an imposter wearing that shirt. I couldn't stop thinking about "old moms" who try to dress like their daughters and how ridiculous they look. I guess my only consolation is that I still look young. Next up...are short shorts out of the question this summer??

Is this not the Best Commercial?

Stroke of genius!!

My mom: "I've never heard of a 'badonkadonk butt.'"

Pelvic Thrust Gym Guy Update

Saw him briefly again yesterday. He was doing sit-ups (still somewhat thrustworthy) on the exercise ball, but not with the same penetrative force of the all-out thrust. I realized he kinda looks like someone I once knew, but probably will never know if it's him or not...

Witty Banter Good for Friendships

In 6th grade, I had a crush on the class clown. Not only was he popular with the girls, but every guy wanted to be his BFF.

"In any clique, the alpha male might be the wealthiest, the best athlete, the most popular with women. But just as often, it's the guy who proffers the wittiest slander."

The article is written from the insightful viewpoint of a male. I think the same standard holds true for women, but to a lesser degree. It's perfectly acceptable, not to mention humorous, to drudge up ex-boyfriend stories. However, I would imagine men take it to the next level. Furthermore, I think men place a higher value of another man's ability to "ball bust" his friends than females.

Women, as a whole, tend to be more sensitive so insulting her may be walking a fine line. Even when one follows an insult with the infamous last words, "just kidding," we all realize there is an underlying truth to all jokes. An especially touchy subject may be a past relationship. For instance, ridiculing the former flame who broke your friend's heart and shattered it into a million pieces may not be such a wise idea.

One therapeutic and humorous tactic involves listing all the negative qualities of said ex-boyfriend. The loser who lived with his mom. The tool who spent more time on his hair than you. The reject who kissed like a Hoover vacuum. Remembering and bringing up such stories is a guaranteed laugh. The finer details are an additional bonus. Like the guy who used a coupon to pay for your first date. Another terribly amusing pasttime is to ridicule the current girlfriend of the ex. Mention how her butt looked gynormous in her jeans or how her new haircut made her look like a tranny or how she snorts when she laughs. Shallow as this may be, it's a temporary ego boost.

Go ahead, make fun of each other.

Stop Puppy Mills

In light of the recent puppy mill rescue (nice headline typo WCCO) in South Dakota, I am posting this link to Retrieve a Golden of Minnesota, RAGOM, where 90 golden retriever puppies and dogs were sent. Apparently, they are no longer accepting adoption applications for dogs due to an overwhelming response, but they are always accepting donations and they have other goldens in need of help, especially the seniors! Plus you can always check out the adorable puppy pictures. :)



Please do not ever purchase a dog from a pet store. Help stop puppy mills.

The Beautiful People

Society rewards those with beauty. Beautiful women move to the front of the line at the club. A beautiful woman needn't buy her own drinks. Beautiful women constantly get things handed to them in life. Culturally, they become conditioned to expect certain rewards. Does this lower their drive to succeed? If all it takes is a pretty face in this world to make it, why make extra work for yourself? Attractive friends of mine have reaped the benefits at times. One friend of mine had her car stereo installed for free by a male Best Buy employee. Another friend of mine habitually misplaced her cell phone, yet she always received a new one free of charge and her service plan upgraded for no additional cost. Not to call myself beautiful, but I once got hired for a job (granted, it was at Panera) just by asking for an application. The manager took one look at me and told me the orientation date. I'm sure all the females I know have found themselves in similar situations. Complete strangers go out of their way to be nice to attractive people. What does this say about the morale of this country? You would certainly argue that success demands intelligence and ambition. Above all, money is power. If Donald Trump were poor, would he be with Melania? Certainly not. But on a daily basis, who gets more recognition: the intelligent, upper middle class citizen with the successful career or the 5'9" blonde with the great body?

'Fat Talk' Brings Women Together

"Females like to support one another and fat talk elicits support."

In order to fit in and be well-liked by other women, females feel pressure to insult their own body as a way to bond with other women. It sounds perverse, doesn't it?

For as much as men think about sex, women are concerned with weight. When a group of women get together, the topic of weight is almost guaranteed to come up in one form or another. A woman, even if she is perfectly content with her body, may feel inclined to degrade part of her body to converse with other women. Negative criticism builds a support system for females to easily identify with and allows them to openly discuss their insecurities regarding their bodies.

It turns a negative thing such as poor body image into a positive for female relationships. The supportive element truly kicks in when one female turns to her friend and asks, "does this make me look fat?" The supportive friend then reassures her she looks fabulous and may then want to take the opportunity to steer the conversation to her own flabby arms.

This reminds me of a scene from the movie, Mean Girls, where the girls stand before a mirror, nitpicking their appearances.

Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew!

As newcomer to the group, born and raised in Africa, Cady quickly learns it is a social expectation for a female to criticize herself while in cohorts of her gal pals.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: women highly seek the approval of other women. In large part, I believe it is because women are much more critical than men. Since they are aware of all the trash talking women are capable of, it gives them reason to be paranoid of other females' opinions.

While weight is the biggest issue for females (no pun intended), obsession with overall physical appearance is not uncommon. Particularly with the prevalence of plastic surgery these days, from nose jobs to botox to collagen injections, it seems no matter what we do, we will never be perfectly content with our appearance. A contributing factor is celebrities with the means to fork over a bundle of cash to fix their flaw(s). We constantly see airbrushed pictures of women with seemingly perfect bodies generate feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy.

So while you don't want to be labeled the conceited woman with the perfect body, you also want to be careful not to overdo it and wind up the "woman who cried fat" (especially if you are rail-thin), in a desperate attempt for attention, for both types of women may find themselves with no support system.

It is odd, is it not??

Mind Games: To Play or not to Play?

I have a guilty pleasure. It's called Young & the Restless. Soap operas, yes, they're cheesy and dramatic and over-the-top, but every so often, they teach you a thing or two about the human condition.

One episode touched on the early stages of dating. Annoying blonde bimbo, Amber, has recently been seeing a man, Cane (as in 'hurricane'...try not to fall off your chair laughing), whom she met online. After a night out together, he calls the following afternoon to invite her to lunch, to which she replies, "Sorry, I'm busy." Conveniently nearby, her friend, Daniel, overhears the conversation, which prompts her to inform him of the "rules," saying she is applying the 3-day rule. In turn, the man can feel like the hunter in pursuit of his prey. Then while chatting up Daniel over coffee, she asks for a favor. She pulls out two third row tickets to Snow Patrol. She asks Daniel to call Cane and tell him he has two tickets to Snow Patrol that he can't use, offering them to him. As planned, Daniel gives the tickets to Cane, who then asks Amber to the concert.

Whew! Talk about an awful lot of trouble to get a guy's attention. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. But all in all, well-played on Amber's part. Aside from the fact, risking Snow Patrol tickets for any guy is not worth it. Do manipulative mind games work? Or is it an unjustified, deep-seated notion embedded in our heads? If the thrill of the chase is what causes butterflies-in-your-stomach, which we associate with love, and/or feelings of love, then perhaps the rules truly weren't meant to be broken.

Baby Beyoncé