'Fat Talk' Brings Women Together

"Females like to support one another and fat talk elicits support."

In order to fit in and be well-liked by other women, females feel pressure to insult their own body as a way to bond with other women. It sounds perverse, doesn't it?

For as much as men think about sex, women are concerned with weight. When a group of women get together, the topic of weight is almost guaranteed to come up in one form or another. A woman, even if she is perfectly content with her body, may feel inclined to degrade part of her body to converse with other women. Negative criticism builds a support system for females to easily identify with and allows them to openly discuss their insecurities regarding their bodies.

It turns a negative thing such as poor body image into a positive for female relationships. The supportive element truly kicks in when one female turns to her friend and asks, "does this make me look fat?" The supportive friend then reassures her she looks fabulous and may then want to take the opportunity to steer the conversation to her own flabby arms.

This reminds me of a scene from the movie, Mean Girls, where the girls stand before a mirror, nitpicking their appearances.

Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew!

As newcomer to the group, born and raised in Africa, Cady quickly learns it is a social expectation for a female to criticize herself while in cohorts of her gal pals.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: women highly seek the approval of other women. In large part, I believe it is because women are much more critical than men. Since they are aware of all the trash talking women are capable of, it gives them reason to be paranoid of other females' opinions.

While weight is the biggest issue for females (no pun intended), obsession with overall physical appearance is not uncommon. Particularly with the prevalence of plastic surgery these days, from nose jobs to botox to collagen injections, it seems no matter what we do, we will never be perfectly content with our appearance. A contributing factor is celebrities with the means to fork over a bundle of cash to fix their flaw(s). We constantly see airbrushed pictures of women with seemingly perfect bodies generate feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy.

So while you don't want to be labeled the conceited woman with the perfect body, you also want to be careful not to overdo it and wind up the "woman who cried fat" (especially if you are rail-thin), in a desperate attempt for attention, for both types of women may find themselves with no support system.

It is odd, is it not??