Mean Girls

Dating back to fifth grade slumber parties, I recall a period where my friends and I went through this beauty pageant phase. We'd take turns playing the host while everyone else would participate as beauty queen contestants. We never went so far to do a swimsuit competition, but we'd dress up, make fools of ourselves with silly talents and answer questions such as, "How would you make the world a better place?"

In the end, the host would be responsible for crowning a winner. At the time, we all laughed it off as no big deal, but the truth of the matter was, it was a big deal! How could you not feel disappointed when you weren't crowned the prettiest?

Our friend, Susan, was heavy-set with curly, strawberry-blonde hair, freckles and glasses. Her physical appearance made her the butt of all jokes. When we held these contests, the rest of us pitied her, really. We'd conspire behind her back when we felt as though it was "her turn" to win. I don't think she ever caught on, but she was at a clear disadvantage. Or at least, in our minds she was. We made awful wisecracks, not to her face, that reflected more than her appearance. We ridiculed her intelligence, her lame jokes and her wardrobe.

Susan went to a different school the following year, so the target simply moved to another friend. We greased her locker with vaseline, wrote her a love letter from a "secret admirer" and spent hours on the phone gossiping behind her back. We even came up with inside jokes she wasn't a part of with the sole purpose of excluding her.

Over the years, I find that not much has changed from my pageant days. Ever wonder why women go to the bathroom in groups? Womens' public restrooms serve as the breeding ground for all juicy gossip. Those bathroom walls know all!

I'm not naive. I know I've had my fair share of nasty things said about me behind my back. In fact, there are times I hesitate to leave a room full of girl friends for fear of what will be said when I depart. If paranoia sets in, you can always cup your ear to the door, as one of my college friends did, appalled when she heard, "What smells worse? 'Boy' or vanilla?" 'Boy' referring to the sleep smell of her boyfriend and vanilla being the scent of her body spray.

As I've said, I partake in this despicable behavior. If I'm going to hell, so be it. Yet I find myself asking why. I fail to come up with a good answer. Does it chalk up to insecurity, jealousy, validation? All of the above? I'm not proud of myself. On the contrary, it's shameful. And it bewilders me. Just trying to be honest and seek understanding. Why do women act in this manner?

Misconceptions of Love

One of my guy friends at work started dating someone a few months ago. As usual, prying into the personal affairs of others, I asked if he had said those three little words.

"Why?" he asked.
"Because that's what she's waiting to hear."
"Silly women. Men don't feel the need to say that kind of stuff."

Prior to the Industrial Revolution, couples didn't necessarily marry for romantic love. It wasn't until after this, people sought mates for themselves instead of people related to friends and family and women had more economic opportunities. Both factors changed our society's concept of love, dividing it into two parts: masculine and feminine.

Masculine: Shared activities, companionship and physical affection. Providing economic and practical help are most important. Love is not dependent on emotion, romance or verbal expressions of love.

Feminine: Open, verbal expression of emotions and affection. Romanticism.

The feminization of love dominates our society, which hurts couples striving to attain this idealization of love. Since men don't express their emotions in the same way, a man may say "I love you" by washing his mate's car or spending quality time with them, but this expression of love goes unrecognized by the female. Additionally, individuals are misled to believe women are more capable of love than men. This difference in conception of love contributes to the reinforcement of gender roles in the U.S., with the belief personal relationships are reserved for women at home and the devaluation of women's love -- chores she does are regarded as work rather than affection.

Featherbed Delight

After a six-day workout streak, I decided to give myself the day off yesterday. So after work, I blew money on frivolous purchases. I've wanted a featherbed for a few years now, so I finally broke down and bought one yesterday. As a first-time buyer, I went for a relatively inexpensive one from Linens 'N Things. They had HoMedic featherbeds with the foam material as the interior and goose-down pillowtops, but those were double the cost. If I like the one I got, maybe I can look at the nicer foam ones in the future.

Anyway, it might take me some time to get used to my new featherbed. I almost feel like it's too soft!! But I think I will really like it once I grow accustomed to sleeping on it.

Good News for People who Love Bad News

Yes, I stole that from the Modest Mouse album. The band has nothing to do with this post, but I truly did receive the best news yesterday. When I arrived home last night, I had a manila envelope outside my door with a letter and new lease agreement notifying me my rent is going DOWN as of June 1. Can you believe it?!? It's quite possible I've never been happier. Such unexpected good news!! Given that I qualify for subsidized housing and apparently, due to something called fair market rents, my rent amount will be decreased. I consider moving from time to time, to suburbia for cheaper rent, but I guess I'll be sticking around a while.

Hair Woes

Ever since I hacked off 10 inches to donate back in December, I have been impatiently waiting for my hair to grow back. My short layers are still short, not to mention severely uneven! My highlights are the absolute worst, random blonde-yellow streaks of different proportions. I had it done just three weeks ago, but since it wasn't dyed down to the root, my dark roots are already very noticeable. Perhaps I should say I'm going for the Drew Barrymore look of intentional roots.

On top of that, my ceramic flat iron died on me. It was probably a year old, if that. Piece of junk. I read some negative reviews on the Target website claiming others had the same difficulty with that particular straightener, where one side stops heating up. Apparently, it's a recurring problem since consumers have replaced theirs, only to have the same thing happen with a new one. I guess the best brand is Chi, but they average a whopping $150! If I had curly, frizzy hair, I may be crazy enough to consider one, but my hair is flat as a pancake. Lucky me. So much volume, I'm beside myself. Anyway, yeah, I have to replace mine now.

Ugh, it's Quiznos Day

One day out of every week, Deborah and I go to Quiznos for lunch. It would have been yesterday, but I forgot my iPod, so I ran home so I'd have it for my workout. Quizno's sandwiches fail to compensate for lousy company. Yet I go because it somehow became tradition and I'm far too passive-aggressive to put a stop to it. Topics that will be covered during lunch:

1. Bugs.
It's humid outside today, but Deborah has this insane fear of bugs (among a long list of others) so she refuses to open her car window. In the past, she had a car with no air conditioning, yet she drove around during the summer, sweating buckets for fear a bug will enter her vehicle through the window.

2. Working out/Bally's.
Running is hard work. She thinks all her problems will be solved by liposuction. She'll bitch about not wanting to work out today. I receive a daily report on the spinning bikes at Bally's. Today I was told "only eight of the sixteen bikes work. The rest are broke."

3. Bad Drivers.
She's constantly paranoid on the road:
"Where's this guy going?"
"Does he see me in this lane?"
"Don't I have the right of way?"
Quizno's is only a few miles away, but it's a tortuous journey.

Yesterday when I arrived at work, a thank-you card with a Target gift card enclosed inside was on my desk. Seriously. Stop. Deborah. It's common with her. She buys me candy and pretzels and gum and random shit during her Target shopping sprees. On the one hand, yes, it's a nice gesture. But it's excessive to the point where she tries to buy my friendship!!

I remember when I first started with her, she told me she almost bought me a white down coat I'd been admiring. At the time, I'd only worked with her a few months. Now that would have totally freaked me out. Had she done that, I'd have requested a restraining order! Apparently, this is what she does for others in her desperate attempt for friends. Many years ago, Deborah told me she bought a gift for a female co-worker. The woman felt so uncomfortable, she severed their friendship from that day forward. Deborah's theory is the woman thought Deborah was a lesbian.

She's sad and pathetic and I feel consumed with guilt, but I just can't handle her. I do not have the patience or tolerance for desperate, needy people. This single, 50-year-old woman has no friends and no family, really. She only speaks to two of her nine of siblings, but it's not very often when she does. She spends weekends alone, holed up in her studio condo, flipping through bad T.V. between bouts of eating and sleeping. That's her life.

To me, the worst feeling in the world is self-pity. I personally hate myself when I feel that way. It's one thing to vent about your misery to your close friends and family, but it's quite another to essentially demand and/or guilt someone into feeling sorry for you. That is what she does. Time and time again, I hear, "don't you feel sorry for me? Nobody never feels sorry for me." At this point in the conversation, I am ready to hurl my stapler across the room.

Another frequent line is, "I don't have nobody to hang out with." For the last week, all she's done is talk about how she wants to go bowling, but doesn't have anyone to go with. She was supposed to go with her nephew over the weekend, but at the last minute, he expressed interest in seeing Spiderman 3, probably so he didn't have to engage her in conversation for three hours! The first thing I heard when I walked into work on Monday was, "Waaah, I didn't get to bowling. I'm going to have to go by myself 'cause nobody will go with me." In the last eighteen hours, she's repeated that several times. Obviously, she wants me to volunteer to go when I'd rather shove a pencil through my eye.

'Life's Short. Get a Divorce.'

At the risk of sounding crass, I like it. I admire the boldness, or "cutting edge" as Corri Fetman, the attorney behind this, refers to it.

The all-female law firm specializing in divorce cases, Fetman, Garland & Associates Ltd., fueled controversy with their Chicago billboard that reads: 'Life's short. Get a Divorce.' The ad shows headless pictures of a buxom woman in a black lace bra and the washboard abs of a man in a white towel.

I roll my eyes when people say it promotes divorce and degrades the institution of marriage when over half the people in this country get divorced. Yes, divorce is traumatic, but a billboard certainly isn't going to be the deciding factor in seeking a divorce.

Fetman defends her ad by saying, "If you're unhappy, that life is too short to continue in an unhappy marriage, those images provide hope."

Strategically placed, the billboard faces "Viagra Triangle," known for its' trendy single scene. There are plans in the works for similar ads, another to hit the "Gold Coast" neighborhood with glitzy nightlife.



The media uses sex appeal to advertise everything under the sun, why stop at divorce??

Cesar's Way

I love Cesar Millan!!! He has his own show on the National Geographic channel, Dog Whisperer. It's like Nanny 911, only with dogs instead of children. Cesar possesses an incredible natural ability to control canines. His demeanor is ultimately what makes the dogs obey and behave.

He got his start by helping Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, who then referred their friends, mostly celebrities, to him. Cesar claims to "rehabilitate dogs" and "train people." Being the dorky dog lover I am, I picked up a copy of his book, Cesar's Way: The Natural, Everday Guide to Understanding & Correcting Common Dog Problems.

"America's pet dogs long to have what most dogs in the wild have naturally: the ability simply to be dogs, to live in a stable, balanced pack. American dogs struggle with an issue unknown to most of the world's dogs - the needs to "unlearn" their owners' lovingly motivated but ultimiately destructive efforts to transform them into four-legged people with fur."

Should be an interesting read!

Devils' Threesome

Again, this is old news, but props for this Scrubs line:

J.D.: "So, this threesome of yours, was it two girls and a guy, or was it a devils' threesome?"

Devils' threesome = hilarious!

Wearing the Skirt

This is majorly delayed, but I intended to blog about last Thursday's episode of The Office. It was hysterical, was it not? I loved the part when Michael and the women were eating lunch at the mall and they were inquiring about his relationship with Jan. He told them Jan had a schoolgirl fantasy, to which they replied that was pretty normal, until Michael revealed Jan made him wear the schoolgirl skirt. So funny.

On a more serious note, it reminded me of something I've been thinking about for a while. Doesn't it seem a little warped that our society isn't more disapproving of the schoolgirl fetish? Is there a double standard? We're so quick to frown upon pedophilia and statutory rape, as it should be, but when it comes to sexual fantasy, it's a different story. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but it's such a sensitive subect matter, you'd think we'd be frightened to even crack a joke about it. But somehow it's almost encouraged, particularly ever since the infamous Britney Spears' video, ...Baby One More Time, where she dressed up as a schoolgirl.

A Life So Solitary

Have you ever lived alone? Let me clarify. Not the kind of alone where your boyfriend or girlfriend's name isn't on the lease, but he/she essentially lives there.

When I had college roommates, I often longed for peace and quiet and time to myself. But that was never really feasible, short of getting your own hotel room I suppose, which isn't realistic considering most college students don't have money to throw around. Or even if you were fortunate enough to have your own room, you were never really alone. Friends were always in the near vicinity.

As we get older, more and more of us are starting to pair off and priorities begin to shift. 2008 is going to be a big year for weddings. It'd be silly for me to call up my married friends with kids to tell them about the asshole who cut me off in traffic or how I heard the song on the radio that reminded me of the time we cut class in high school when they have real problems to deal with like changing a screaming baby's diaper.

While I cherish my privacy and freedom, it can be hard at times. I wouldn't trade it for a roommate, that's for sure. But sometimes you have something stupid you wanna say, but there's no one to hear it. In part, I guess that's what this blog is for. I think it would be beneficial for everyone to experience living on their own before getting married. Living alone teaches you a great deal about yourself you may not have otherwise learned. If only it were more affordable.

At Least I Made it...

...to the gym this weekend. Saturday was a slow struggle to make it 4.5 miles and today I took it easy by opting for the elliptical. If I go to the Maple Grove Lifetime, they have 4 different types of elliptical machines. The one I like best does a really good job of working your glutes because it is raised at more of an incline so it works different muscles than the standard elliptical. I tried out another elliptical today that sits lower to the ground, but it aggravated my knee, causing it to pop, so I guess I won't be using that one. I'm certain knee replacement surgery is in my future!

As for other updates, I am officially registered for the Twin Cities Marathon on October 7. On Friday, there were a couple people at the birthday shindig who have run marathons so they were discussing it in great detail.

This former co-worker/friend of the birthday girl ran Twin Cities last year and the way she described it, made it sound so exhilirating! She said she literally felt like a rock star because people are constantly cheering you on, and even though you know they're not just cheering for you, it genuinely feels that way.

One of the guys also present has run many marathons and I guess people often write their name on their shirt so that the crowd yells your name and then you really feel pumped! He also told this fantastic story about how one of his friends collapsed so he and his buddies physically carried the guy to the finish. How amazing is that!

I'm not a believer of fate, but in this case, I strongly feel as though I was meant to run this marathon. It's something that's been in the back of my mind for years and years. This year, by chance, I heard the bit on the radio and then when I was in the company of marathoners on Friday, I knew I had to go home and register for the race. Failure to finish is my biggest fear, but that's a lousy excuse. I know I'll feel even more rotten if I don't at least try.

The Amazing Race All-Stars: Eric & Danielle Win

That was a real nail-biter of a finish, and a disappointing one at that. Eric and Danielle are the official winners of The Amazing Race All-Stars.

I blame Kandice for her and Dustin not winning. How could she have not said Rob & Amber for "least trustworthy?" That has got to be the most obvious answer!!! I will NEVER understand that.

That vault game was pretty cool though. Each team member had to go in a room and answer questions about their competitors which produced a 4-digit code that locked a safe. Then the other teammate had to go in the room and try to match their partners' answers to arrive at the same code to unlock the safe. It reminded me of a competition they would do on Big Brother, my absolute favorite reality show.

On the bright side, at least it wasn't Charla & Mirna to run across that finish line first.

No Game

As predicted, Friday night sucked. It was a female friend's birthday. She made a bitchy comment to me at one point during the evening so that was a major buzzkill. I won't bore you with the details. Instead, I'll surprise everyone, myself included, by focusing on the positive rather than the negative.

The highlight (if you can call it that) of the night came during bar time. There was a group of us, two males and seven females. We sat/stood beside a table in the lower area of the place. A two-top table was situated directly above ours and became occupied by two gentlemen in their late 20's. Initially, I thought they were lovers. It was something about the way they interacted. They leaned toward one another, speaking very closely. However, they not-so-discreetly pointed out women in the crowd to one another. Curious, I enlisted the opinion of one of the males in our group.

I'm so grateful I did because his answer proved to be very informative. He immediately declared they were nerdy, not gay, the two being easily confused. He then proceeded to point out all the obvious reasons for their lack of game.

For one, their clothes. One guy wore a tan, cotton jacket that was probably from the GAP circa 1998. The other dude wore a polo shirt, perhaps from the mens' department at Kohl's, that was a size too large. I could have identified the clothes on my own, but my friend had surprising insight to offer. He emphasized the importance of a wristwatch. Both men were watchless. I totally underestimated this male accessory. I can definitely see how it would enhance a man's attractiveness, presuming it's a nice watch of course. Also a potential conversation starter, if nothing else.

Not only did their game fall flat, but so did their hair. The IT dorks wore no hair gel. One of them even had decent, thick hair that would have looked nice with the addition of some pomade. As an example, my friend picked out a random male at the table beside us with spikey hair. He said, "Check him out. He's an okay-looking guy. But look at the two women he's with." Indeed, he sat with two very attractive women. He added, "Now that guy has game."

Last but not least, their choice of beer wasn't about to get them laid either. He said it depends on the venue, but we were at a nicer place, Figlio's, where they have a decent selection of beer, but these guys were not interested. He said, "Those guys went up to the bar and asked what the specials were. They thought about getting a pitcher, but decided it against it and went with the cheapest beer on tap, Miller Lite." He claimed the least you could do was get a Guinness!

And then, as if on cue, one of the guys struck up conversation with the nearest female in our group. We were too far to hear his lame pick-up line, but I'm sure it was smooth! When both guys started testing their mack skills on her, he said, "Watch this. I'm about to make those guys feel real uncomfortable." He went up to her, gave her a big hug, and whispered something in her ear, looking very intimate. The guys lost interest and went back to picking out hot women they didn't have the balls to talk to.

Unusual for a guy, my friend had very keen observations which were not only admirable and entertaining, but enightening as well!

Mother Knows Best

Phone transcript with Mom...

Me: I'm gonna register for the Twin Cities Marathon.
Mom: How many job interviews do you have lined up?

Oh, snap.

Tonight's Prediction

Last Friday I spent no time getting ready before going out since I started at 6 pm. It unexpectedly turned out to be one of the best nights out in a long time. Excluding the following morning when I looked in my purse to discover I'd lost my debit card sometime after 1:33 am (according to my last receipt).

Tonight I spent an hour getting ready. I bet it will suck.

Evening goal: don't lose anything.

TGIF

Yesterday's run was not good. I never fell into "the zone." I'm sick of my songs so it's time I added new music to my shuffle. That may have been part of the problem. I jogged at a slower pace, 6.4, and I kept hoping it would get easier as the miles stacked up, but it never did. I also felt unusually dehydrated. I had a bottle of water in my cup holder but I was too lazy to stop. If I had, my body probably would have shut down altogether, having lost my momentum. It was that kind of day.

It's a shame I had no camera because I did see some interesting outfits. I saw one woman wearing a bright orange top with matching pants who looked like she'd just escaped from the nearest prison. Then there's an older guy with a mustache and crazy mullet who always wears the same faded Everlast tanktop with his gut hanging out between where the shirt ends and his shorts begin. One dude on the treadmill worked out in jean shorts. Odd.

Still, the prize for tackiest outfit went to a middle-aged woman with salt and pepper colored hair. I can only assume she came straight from work because she was wearing black nylons under her shorts!!!!! She then had white socks over the nylons paired with white tennis shoes. Ridiculous. I hate nylons with a passion. I can't imagine anyone choosing to work out in them. Why, why, why?!?!

Private Practice/Grey's Anatomy

Only half-watching this two-hour show. It's disappointing. They are trying waaaay too hard to build sexual tension between all the new characters. And what's with the soundtrack?? Let's play random songs during inappropriate scenes such as a woman giving birth. I don't care for this episode at all.

I dislike Addison when she's crying and insecure with men. Has she become the new Meredith? Addison telling a random stranger about sexual tension in the elevator was dumb and even worse when she was acting crazy by talking to herself in the elevator. I liked her character when she was bold, assertive, and went after what she wanted. Instead she's been replaced with a whiny, indecisive, and weak individual. It's not enjoyable to watch.

The best part of this episode is Christina and Burke's wedding. It's amusing to watch her be so uninterested in all the plans whereas Burke takes on the stereotypical female role with his desire to have a big wedding. Their relationship is far from perfect, which is what makes it the most realistic.

I didn't know Merrin Dungey, Kelly from King of Queens, was going to be on the spin-off. I like her so it was a nice surprise to see her.

Anyway, this episode is like a bad soap opera. They've spent more time talking about sex, relationships, and infedility than anything else, falling very short of expectations. Just blah.

Reaching my Quota for Stupidity

I'm amazed by my own stupidity. I figured out what caused the scrapes on my stomach the other day and NO, it was not the friction of my running shorts. I laugh aloud at the thought of it! How ridiculous am I?!? It's my iPod shuffle. I clip it to my shorts and it rubs against my skin. Perhaps I'll have to clip it to my shirt or look extra cool by tucking in my shirt.

Beyond the Breaking Point

So this is a really lazy, boring post about one of my co-workers, Deborah. She makes every day a living hell. She is a very nice person, but she annoys me to no end. I entered her name in the search field of my sent messages and found all these excerpts where I felt the need to vent about her to friends. Be prepared for plenty more posts regarding her, this is only the half of it.

6/20/06

I am terribly annoyed by Deborah from work. It is killing me! She wants me to feel sorry for her because she doesn't have any friends so she wants to hang out with me all the time and she calls me a lot to tell me the most pointless stories, while I'm sitting there thinking, "couldn't you have waited to tell me this tomorrow at work?" Sometimes after work we go out to eat but she only likes two restaurants around here, Bakers Square and Perkins, so we always go there and it's all elderly people at both! She talks about the same old stuff every single day. Complains about the burnt pizza in the cafeteria, complains about our co-workers incorrectly setting up accounts, complains about her weight as she devours an entire box of Zebracakes in one sitting!! It is driving me insane. On the other hand, she is really nice, but I can only handle so much of a person before I reach my breaking point! Oh, and I almost forgot how I have to help her every time she needs to send or write an email because she's dyslexic and computer illiterate. I didn't mind in the beginning but it's not like she remembers or retains any of the instructions I give her. How hard is it to send an attachment????? Ugh, she has jumped to my number one motivation for finding a new job.

Ok, sorry for that rant. I feel a little better now. I don't know what to do because I do feel bad, but can't she understand that I need my space and I don't like to discuss the same meaningless topic for weeks on end??? I can't take it much longer!

Oh god, she just called me over there so she could look up the Wal-mart ad online because she doesn't even know how to look it up on her own! Going insane..... She talks non-stop!

7/11/06

Deborah cleaned out 3 vending machines of cookies so she had to go to the 4th floor to buy more cookies.

8/30/06

We're getting a new girl at work. The last woman they hired was a smoker who hacked up a lung every 10 minutes and she never bathed so the smell of smoke was embedded in her clothes. She also was missing teeth. My boss said the new girl is younger so maybe she'll be cool. I have to train her because nobody else wants to. That sucks. Deborah has been calling me every half hour to tell me the most pointless stories in history.

8/30/06

Friend's response:

hahaha

I really want to meet Deborah. I need a face to put with all your funny stories about her!

9/14/06

...Deborah and another guy have the day off today (what a relief).

11/01/06

Deborah is driving me insane yet again. She wants me to hang out with her after work, which means going to Bakers Square because she wants pie. I keep making up excuses and I feel bad but seriously I don't want to. It's bad enough having to listen to her bitch about the same insignificant shit over and over again during the work day, but what a waste of my spare time.

1/2/07

I've been here for about an hour and it sucks big time already. Really if it weren't for Deborah, it wouldn't be nearly as bad. She is calling me over to her cube every 15 minutes to help her with some idiotic task. It's like having my mom at work, it really is. Talk about technologically challenged. Seriously though, you would think that if you worked on a computer every day things would begin to click, like how to search the internet, or send an email attachment, or how to use Microsoft Word!! But no... On top of that, I have to proofread every email she sends because her spelling and grammar is at a 3rd grade level. I want to punch the wall every time I hear her say, "mines" or "hurted" or "says" when it should be "said" or "Targets" or "don't" when it should be "doesn't" etc. Wtf??? It's bad enough when I see it written, but to hear someone say it day in, day out drives me over the edge!

Now she was just trying to convince me to go to lunch with her and she wants to pay for me cause I said I wasn't spending money 'til I got my paycheck. Oh, and she calls me "Little One" which annoys me too. I cringe every time I hear it. It reminds me of a horrendous nickname your family comes up with when you're too young to know any better.

Last week I went to lunch with J. and that was annoying too - he kept picking his nose and picking at zits on his neck. Seriously, what is wrong with these people???

4/11/07

Work is awful, I want to die. At least Deborah is gone so I have a break from her, which makes it more bearable.

4/23/07

I am already depressed at work after hearing a 30-minute story about how Deborah can't find her way to the Mall of America. She has serious issues. Someone, shoot me!!

4/23/07

I've now heard Deborah's story of how she got lost going to the MOA 4 times -- as she's told co-workers and friends over the phone!!!!!!!!


Ha, are you still reading?? If you are, perhaps you should take up a new hobby like cross-stitching!

Victoria's Got a Secret

Anyone else find the packaging of Victoria's Secret mysterious? I received the ivory cloudspun robe in the mail last week. Since the robe was scheduled for backorder until June, I was thrown for a loop when this unmarked package arrived. Oh, the irony! With their notorious pink-striped bags, I half-expected their package to be pink or stamped with that cheesy dog icon.



The return address label was cryptic as well, VSD. Why go by VSD? What does the 'D' stand for? Department?



Could this be a clever rouse in case a man wants to discreetly send his mistress lingerie?!?

Coming Out

I had a great deal of reservations about starting this blog. First and foremost, I value my privacy so that was, and still is, of great concern to me. Secondly, I fretted over the commitment factor. I didn't know if I had the required dedication and desire to blog, but it's been over a month, and worked out so far. Thank goodness for a boring job and equally boring life.

In the end, my need for a creative outlet won. Introvertedness can be exhausting! If only you knew how much work went into keeping everything bottled inside...

I've only told a handful of close friends about my blog, but I will gradually pass the word along to others in the near future (possibly). It's not fun without an audience, so thanks to the few readers!

Anna Nalick
Breathe (2 AM)

2 AM and I'm still awake writing a song
if I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
threatening the life it belongs to
and I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
cause these words are my diary screamin' out loud
and I know that you'll use them however you want to

Puppy Love

Silly me, I neglected to mention who I am dog sitting for in a few weekends. None other than, the engaged guy who slobbered all over my nose and kept wanting to "go in the corner." Guess why he needs a dog sitter? He'll be strolling down the aisle very soon!! I had the pleasure of seeing him last weekend, at which point he asked me about the evening we met. Apparently, the pictures on his camera phone the following morning were his only recollection of the nights' events. I heard some of his 7-day bachelor party Mexico stories. Um, yeah, I'm sure you can imagine. Funny, he mentioned giving his fiancée numerous chances to back out, but she hasn't much time left!

He sent me a few photos of the dogs. The Husky is beautiful. I want one. I'm going to their house this weekend to meet his future wife and the dogs! Ah, life is, unpredictable.

Stone Arch Bridge

This is why it's hard to run on a treadmill...

The Unavailable Man

There's a Sex & the City episode where Carrie, restless in her carefree relationship, tells her boyfriend, Aidan, she wishes he were less available to her. When Aidan follows her suggestion, Carrie begins to freak out at the prospect of losing him. In turn, this triggers the butterflies in her stomach, the feeling she'd been missing. I always believed this unavailable man theory to be true, but I heard something interesting on the radio this morning.

On KDWB, psychic Gary Spivey, told a female caller who claimed she was still hung up on her ex-husband that she actually was just playing passive-aggressive games with her ex, whom she didn't still love. Spivey insisted the woman was in love with her current boyfriend only, and that if she didn't cease her passive-aggressive ways, he would leave her, and she'd continue the cycle and wind up a cat lady.