The Engaged Man

When a couple gets engaged, there's no hiding the rock on the woman's left hand but there is no physical evidence of a man's relationship status. I've had two memorable encounters with engaged males, both of whom I was meeting for the first time with no prior knowledge of their status. I found it fascinating to pick their brains and hope to meet more engaged men in the future. Does that make me a freak?!

The first was a friend of a friend of the ex. One evening, a group of us ended up at a hick bar in the boonies, filled with townies. The one guy I'd never met before, Brad, I can only assume felt sorry for me being the only female, sat and talked with me while his buddies played pool and golden tee. Normally this is something I wouldn't have been all that comfortable with, forced to make small talk with a complete stranger, but I immediately felt at ease with Brad. He is just one of those all-around nice guys.

Somehow it came up in conversation that he was engaged. I was kind of shocked judging by the guys he hung out with -- two very immature 25-year-olds, neither who'd had a successful long-term relationship. Apparently his fiancee was his college girlfriend of 5 years, but he emphasized he would not be walking down the aisle for at least 2 years. In not so many words, he admitted to succombing to a sort of unspoken ultimatum, which I, of course, teased him about. We ended up getting into this deep conversation about the whole marriage subject. I asked him, "What if you get married and meet someone the following week who is 'the one'?'" Something I often wonder. He said, "I think about that all the time." But he also expressed his genuine love for his future wife. I guess maybe life is too short to be concerned with all the "what ifs'" in life, but that's a mighty big "what if." People say, "I just knew" or "it just felt right." Hmmm.

Then there's the polar opposite of mild-mannered Brad.

Beware ladies of this guy. A couple months ago, I met up with a guy friend of mine who had been out since happy hour with his co-workers. By the time I caught up with them, they were the final two standing. This co-worker/good friend clearly had had a few too many. He asked me the usual questions such as where did you grow up, where'd you go to school, etc. Before long, he was all out hitting on me. Telling me I was beautiful and how attracted he was to me. The feeling was definitely NOT mutual.

For one, the guy was a mighty sloppy drunk. He was staggering, slurring his speech, and dropping drinks. Not that great of a first impression. And secondly, I prefer the clean-cut look. Not the "I haven't shaved or cut my hair in weeks look." Later I was at the bar with my friend and he told me his friend was engaged. I was shocked. So the next time he put his arm around me, I said, "So are you excited about getting married?" He said, "I think about the missed opportunities." Granted, he followed it up with, "I know that's a terrible thing to say, but it's true." The rest of the night was him asking me to go to into the corner with him and telling me how hot I was. In situations like this, all I can do is feel sorry for the fiancee sitting at home with no clue. The icing on the cake is that this guy is going to Mexico for his bachelor party. Wow. At one point, he insisted we do shots so he was at the bar ordering them and when he turned back around to hand me my shot, he kissed me on the nose like a wet, sloppy dog kiss. Ew, that was gross and I was helpless seeing as how I had two drinks in hand.

I hope to get a chance to talk to more engaged men, when they are apart from their future wife and when alcohol is involved so I have a better chance at getting the truth.