CAUTION: Using Facebook to Reconnect with Married Ex Can be Hazardous to your Health

Duh. This is a no-brainer. Like the Surgeon General's warning on a pack of cigarettes.

Wow. Ok, I know I took a long hiatus from this blog but with the recent developments in my life, I just HAD to come back -- readers or no readers. Of course, I also heard MG was back so it only seemed fitting I would return around the same time. :) Where to start, where to start. I'll do my best to update you on my life.

1.) When I left, I was just starting my new job. This had 95% to do with the me disappearing from blogging. I started my blog because it was the only way to get through the day while I was bored out of my mind at my former job. Also, I needed an outlet to vent because there's only so much Deborah you can handle in an 8-hour period.

So I'm really liking my new job. That doesn't erase the fact "it's a job" but it's actually related to what I went to school for and I don't feel as though a monkey could be trained to do it. I also love working downtown. I have been walking to work which takes approximately 35 minutes but now that it's starting to get cold, I am trying to get used to the bus system. I took the wrong bus going home last week so that was rather unfortunate.

2.) TheGuy. We're still seeing each other. Mmm yeah. It's pretty much about the same as when I last left off talking about him. In my head, I am starting to write up a pretty long list of reasons it would never work out between us. The looming issue of whether he's moving out of state/country continues to linger. I have a feeling things may not last much longer. I find I have fewer and fewer reasons to stay in this relationship. The biggest of all being that there really is just no future no matter which way I look at it. And while that may have been okay a year ago, I find that I am really wanting to be in a more serious relationship with someone I can begin to make future plans with and that definitely is not TheGuy.

3.) If you've been around and you're STILL around, you probably recall Married Ex and you may even recall my memorable run-in with his brother back when Married Ex would have been more appropriately named Engaged Ex. If you don't feel like taking the time to read the post, just know that Married Ex's brother informed me that his entire family and all their friends despised Married Ex's wife. They DID NOT think highly of her and it was very apparent at the "most awkward wedding of the century."

So a few months back, I decided to add Married Ex as my friend on Facebook. I didn't know whether he would accept my friend request -- I also included a message reiterating just that and some other bullshit you would say to an ex you hadn't spoken to in years in an attempt to extend the olive branch. He did accept my friend request and we exchanged a couple brief messages about what we'd been up to. No talk of the marriage or dating or other ex talk though.

About a month ago, I noticed that Married Ex dropped off Facebook. I checked his brother's page and Married Ex was not on his brother's friend list either. Then I continued to check his brother's page until a few weeks later, I noticed Married Ex was back and he'd changed the spelling of his last name and dropped all the friends he'd had before. So after mulling over it a while and attempting to spy on his page, I just decided to add him again as my friend. He accepted. We exchanged a few more bullshit catching up messages -- nothing super personal.

One really odd thing was that he no longer listed himself as "married" and he didn't have his wife as one of his friends. He'd also removed all the pictures of her from his page. While strange, I didn't feel comfortable asking so I didn't. Then last week, I got home one day and noticed his brother had written a status update on his page complaining about how he'd spent three hours trying to get the internet fixed. His buddy posted a comment saying, "That's what happens when you don't pay your bill." To which he responded, "No, Married Ex's Bitch took it along with everything else." Then another friend wrote, "Sounds like someone misses Married Ex's bitch." And he wrote, "No, we're throwing a party in honor of her getting the F out." So from that communication, it became very clear that Married Ex and his wife were done - DUN. BTW, Married Ex's brother lives with him/formerly "them."

So in the nicest way possible I decided to send Married Ex a message asking about it. And he told me they were going through a divorce -- though I haven't found out exactly why yet. My guess is she cheated. They were only married 11 months. It's gotta be something BAD if you don't even stick it out a year?!? I don't know. He also told me he'd tell me about it sometime but that it didn't involve daytime drama, whatever that means. He asked for my dad's help as well for legal advice so he called my dad and spoke to him which kinda weirded me out just a bit.

Now what? I am totally dying to know what happened. The only way I'm going to find out is if I hang out with him. But do I really want to do that? Of course part of me REALLY wants to. But then I also know how easily I get sucked in by him and I don't want that. I mean, I was thinking about it today and as soon as he asked for my dad's help, I didn't even hesitate for a second. I think that is pretty nice of me. My dad talked to his divorce attorney friend for Married Ex too so I think he got a deal on that, i.e., free legal help.

I am torn. I haven't liked anyone the same way that I liked Married Ex. Ever. But things never seem to work out between us and then I'm crushed as soon as they don't. I don't even know what he's thinking right now either. Maybe he already has another girl for all I know or maybe he will need a year or two to get over his ex. Who knows. So yeah, that is my dilemma. I thought I was 100% safe by getting in touch with him again, given that he was married. Guess not. I just have a bad feeling about all this...

4.) I ran Twin Cities Marathon again and finished 4:09! I was super happy with my time! It was pouring rain in the beginning and I ended getting up really sick afterwards but I was pleased with my results. My training was a joke too...imagine if I actually trained properly! I am thinking maybe I will make it my goal to try and qualify for Boston -- maybe not next marathon, but one after?? Need a 3:40 for that.

Hopefully, more updates to come.

Married Ex Update

Last night a good friend called to fill me in on some juicy gossip regarding Married Ex. Apparently, Married Ex’s college roommate, B-Side, didn’t attend the wedding ceremony, but he went to the reception. B-Side knows Married Ex’s wife because they all worked together (the same way Married Ex and his wife met).

B-Side said it's no secret that all their friends/co-workers think Married Ex’s wife is psychotic. Before she got involved with Married Ex, she had a long-term boyfriend that everyone knew she was obsessed with. B-Side’s co-worker told him that during the wedding, as they were saying their vows, Married Ex’s wife looked out at the crowd, zeroing in on her ex-boyfriend and burst out crying. For a guy to notice to such a thing? Must have been very conspicuous! As my friend said, “That’s like something out of a movie or TV!” I was thinking the same thing: like when Ross said ‘Rachel’ instead of ‘Emily” during his vows.

B-Side also said the reception was awkward and not the least bit fun. He said no one in Married Ex’s family, including his extended family, likes his wife and it was terribly obvious. B-Side said people were actually making bets on how long the marriage would last.

I feel the same way I did after I ran into Married Ex’s brother and he shared the same sentiments. Only now Married Ex is married. I couldn’t imaging marrying someone that NONE of my family or friends cared for. Though love is blind, if everyone you knew disliked the person you were with, wouldn’t you give them the benefit of the doubt and trust that they saw something you don’t??

The Day My Ex Got Married

From this day forth, November 3rd will be known as "The Day My Ex Got Married." Because I like to torture myself, I spent some quality stalker time on MySpace. Her headline reads: "Well dang, I'm about to get hitched!" With the addition of five unnecessary exclamation points. Her friends have posted comments reassuring her how beautiful she's going to look walking down the aisle and crap like, "At this time tomorrow, you're going to be a bride!"

All day I was haunted by what I knew was going on just twenty miles north of me. Around 10 am, GC and I went to Lake Calhoun and I was reminded of all the times Married Ex and I went rollerblading there so many years ago. I imagined his fiancée, all nervous and excited, was getting her hair done in that atrocious style she had for her trial.

Then at 4 pm, I wondered if it was official yet. Were they joined 'til death do them part by the oh-so-romantic legally binding contract? A few hours later, I ran to the mall to return something when I realized the reception was now taking place. I know exactly where the venue is located since I've been there and if I hadn't been on a time constraint that involved me getting ready to go out and get wasted, I may have driven by the reception. Or parked my car and used binoculars to scope it out.

As I went to pass out in bed, I thought about whether he carried her over the threshold. I decided he would probably be embarrassed by that silly gesture, but she would INSIST it be done. Then I wondered if his lanky, frail arms would support her.