Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Day My Ex Got Married

From this day forth, November 3rd will be known as "The Day My Ex Got Married." Because I like to torture myself, I spent some quality stalker time on MySpace. Her headline reads: "Well dang, I'm about to get hitched!" With the addition of five unnecessary exclamation points. Her friends have posted comments reassuring her how beautiful she's going to look walking down the aisle and crap like, "At this time tomorrow, you're going to be a bride!"

All day I was haunted by what I knew was going on just twenty miles north of me. Around 10 am, GC and I went to Lake Calhoun and I was reminded of all the times Married Ex and I went rollerblading there so many years ago. I imagined his fiancée, all nervous and excited, was getting her hair done in that atrocious style she had for her trial.

Then at 4 pm, I wondered if it was official yet. Were they joined 'til death do them part by the oh-so-romantic legally binding contract? A few hours later, I ran to the mall to return something when I realized the reception was now taking place. I know exactly where the venue is located since I've been there and if I hadn't been on a time constraint that involved me getting ready to go out and get wasted, I may have driven by the reception. Or parked my car and used binoculars to scope it out.

As I went to pass out in bed, I thought about whether he carried her over the threshold. I decided he would probably be embarrassed by that silly gesture, but she would INSIST it be done. Then I wondered if his lanky, frail arms would support her.

4 comments:

MD said...

LOVE the shot you took at his frail arms. Very nice. I don't understand why you didn't burst into the wedding ceremony and exclaim that your preggers!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you sound a little salty in this post.

Anonymous said...

I love it! I had this happen to me on November 1st, but the weird thing is that Im happily in love and having a child with my fiance... so why is it that my ego has become suddenly green? Damn ex's beating us to the punch and all. Well you can always sinisterly hope for a divorce.

Anonymous said...

I've found out my ex has married as well. I'm not tickled about the whole situation myself. Thinking about getting into witch craft and casting some spells? J/K, but if I knew how I'd already have done it! Did I mention we were together for 5 years and he was running around with the skank he's married to now during the end of "us," and she was with someone else then as well. It gives me great satisfaction being sure they are more than likely messing around on eachother by now anyways!