Woe is Me

In high school, there was this adorable guy, Chris, who worked at the American Eagle in the local mall. He was tall with dirty blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. He embodied the All-American boy with his rugged good looks, harboring the affection of many a young girl. We couldn't help but swoon and giggle every time he said, "Can I help you find anything today?" His name may also have come up once or twice during a few slumber parties.

One day at my locker, I overheard my equally beautiful neighbor, Courtney, telling her friend she'd been hired at American Eagle. In relaying the gossip to my best friend, we realized, "Oh no! Now she's probably going to start dating Chris!" Sure enough, it wasn't long before we saw Chris outside of the mall, as she paraded him around at football games (he went to a different high school) and dances and parties I wasn't cool enough to attend. Not only were they an aesthetically pleasing couple to look at, but they were dressed in the latest fashion trends courtesy of their 10% American Eagle discount.

Ten years later and I'm still wondering, why don't things like this ever happen for me? It's incredibly rare for me to be attracted to someone based entirely on looks. A man tends to grow more or less attractive in accordance to his personality and my preconceived notions of our compatibility. In the rarest of cases, I instantaneously deem a guy "hot" such as Bobby or the Hot Personal Trainer at my gym, and he's never interested in me. Thus, out of my league.

There's no moral to this story other than the fact I have shitty luck when it comes to men. Why are the hot ones never taken with me?