Jibberish

Sorry in advance for the totally random post. I'm nonsensical today.

I don't know about you, but I get all my dating advice from The Hills.

In particular, I found Lauren and Audrina's conversation enlightening, as they reflected on Audrina's new man. Lauren recaps, "He returns your calls, which Justin didn't. He likes to kiss, which Justin didn't. He bathes, which Justin didn't. Upgrade!"

Yes, I believe it's safe to assume any guy who takes the time to wash himself on a regular basis is deemed an upgrade.

I went to the gym yesterday and did 5 miles. My pace was still slower than usual and I had to push through a few side aches, but it was a vast improvement over Monday's run. When I did sit-ups, hot personal trainer guy was positioned in my eye line, but he didn't look so hot close up. He's got sharp facial features which I'm not a fan of, but he still has perfect hair and a ripped upper body visible through his black t-shirt. Cute smile too.

I left the gym around 5:30. Two hours later, I arrived home. Traffic was insane with all the snow that's been dumped on us lately.

I know this may sound weird, but I'm not really into muscles (some exceptions apply, see above). In general, human bodies gross me out. I don't get turned on by a washboard stomach or firm buttocks. Of course, it doesn't hurt either, but body type isn't that big a deal to me. I've dated crack addict slim (Married Ex) to beefy butterball (MB). I don't even like my own body let alone someone else's so it caught me by surprise a couple weeks ago when TheGuy asked if I would ever get my belly button pierced.

I laughed and gave an affirmative, "No."

"Why not?" he asked. "You have your ears pierced and your tongue pierced."

"I don't like my stomach."

"What? You have a nice stomach."

Belly button piercings are attractive on tall, slender women. I don't qualify. I would never draw attention to the navel area unless you saw muscle and lots of it!

Deborah just came over to my cube and said, "When I sprayed my windshield wiper fluid this morning, it iced over my windshield and I couldn't see. I think the car dealership replaced it with water." I had to stop her from calling the dealership to complain and then explain to her that liquid freezes when it's cold. I said, "Did you use your defroster to melt the ice?" "No, I got mad so I just kept spraying more fluid."