Baby Got Back

If you've been around a while, you may recall that I went off on my ex's new girlfriend of behemoth proportions. That wasn't very nice of me. I suffered bloggers' remorse the following day. In all seriousness, she's no beached whale, but she could stand to lose a few pounds. You know, step on the scale and subtract fifteen. Kidding. Sort of.

My ex and I remain on "good" terms so we still "talk" which generally consists of me belitting his existence and nitpicking his flaws as he goes on the defensive, much like the good old days when we were a couple. The other day he informed me his girlfriend said she's gained 20 pounds since she began hanging out with him. Chunky-rific.

Let's go over the facts. When he and I were dating, I quit working out for two years. Soon after he was out of the picture, I joined Lifetime Fitness, started running again, and completed a marathon.

It's the freshmen fifteen of relationships. Make sure you take a before and after pic.