Leprosy

1.) I passed by one of my old bosses in the hallway at work last week and his eyes went directly to my "hickey." I'm sure he was thinking, what a 'ho.

2.) TheGuy is scared to touch me with a ten foot pole, as half his body has been covered in poison ivy and got to the point where he had to take steroids.

3.) I'm forced to wear a Band-Aid on my neck in public to hide my scarlet A. Somehow I ended up at the bar last night looking like a lesbian (explanatory post to follow).

4.) My mom just told me it looks like I have a hickey and then told me the story of how she gave my dad a hickey on his nose soon after they were married.

Excuse me while I vomit.