March of the Pink Zebras

Last Saturday Rockstar came over and we went to The Old Spaghetti Factory to carbo load in prep for the 5K. There's a strong possibility we may have OD'ed on the carbs but it was so delicious, we couldn't stop! We both had salad, spinach and cheese ravioli, two loaves of bread, and spumoni ice cream. Every last bite. Gone. She hadn't eaten all day. Me? I'm just a pig.

I think our server was impressed by our hearty appetite. I tried to make his day by writing "you're cute" on my credit card receipt. Cute in the nervous, little boy way that is. He was just a baby, maybe 19??

We planned on catching a 7:20 showing of Smart People, but when 7:00 rolled around and our ice cream had just arrived, we were in need of a change in plans. Rockstar doesn't get out too much in Minneapolis so it was kind of fun to show her some of the places where I frequently black out hang out.

We first stopped by The Loop and bellied up to the bar for a drink. Then we headed to 508 where I experienced déjà vu. Or downtown is just that small, as three of the guys I met on T.'s birthday were there as well. After we got our first drink and sat down, I recognized none other than, Wheelchair Guy. He was with a group of guy friends (some I recognized) and an attractive blonde chick -- it quickly became clear she was the infamous psychotic girlfriend. Unfortunately for us, she didn't unleash that side of her but maybe it was because we made it a point to sort of steer clear of her man. She was pretty cute for him. It must have been his suave dance moves that got her.

It was fun to run into him and his buddies again. Rockstar immediately went up to him and told him she'd heard about his wheelchair move, but he claimed to be too sober to do it. I later learned "too sober" meant "not allowed to have fun" when he came up to me and apologized for not hanging out and having fun with us due to his girlfriend's presence. How hilarious is that? Even though he couldn't hang with us, we danced with his friends while mocking complete strangers. Can you ask for a better time? I think not.

One of the more interesting parts of the evening was when I was dancing with Wheelchair Guy's buddy and some girl shoved me out of the way and proceeded to take my place in dancing with him. I was taken aback but it wasn't like I was interested in the guy or anything so I merely walked away and told Rockstar about it. Later the guy came back and told me that girl was his sister so I guess she thought it was funny, which more or less, just kinda creeped me out that she was there watching him grind on chicks. If I saw my brothers doing that, I'd be scarred for life.

I also saw Stephen, but keep in mind, I did NOT look hot. Far from it. I hadn't planning on going out. And since I have poison ivy on my neck that looks like a giant hickey, I had a jumbo band-aid covering it up, my hair was in a ponytail so it wouldn't brush up against the rash, and I was wearing tennis shoes...to a downtown bar on Saturday night. I looked so very-not-cute. So even though we walked right by Stephen and his buddy, I wasn't exactly feeling up to saying hello when I looked like a total scrub. And if he saw me, he didn't say anything, probably because he was too frightened by my appearance!

And then there's Jason. He texted me Friday night but I was hanging out with TheGuy and then I guess we both ended up being at 508 at the same time on Saturday but he ended up leaving pretty quickly to go to some birthday celebration at another bar. It was for the better, since I looked awful. There is a slight chance he saw me, took one look at a big band-aid, bad outfit, and hair that looked like shit and ran far, far away. And I would never know because I have no idea what the guy looks like! If I never hear from him again, I'll know why.

In my last post I referenced looking like a lesbian. A dude came up to Rockstar and flat-out asked if she was straight and then wanted to know if her and I were together (we happened to be wearing very similar outfits -- go figure).

Anyway, I learned that even when you look like shit at a bar, you can still have fun.

Even when you have to get up the next day and run a 5K!! The race went well but the temperature was on the chilly side. We all wore pink zebra bandanas which was totally fun so we better have made the pictures this year! At least we weren't wearing pig noses like some runners. We're not that dorky.

Leprosy

1.) I passed by one of my old bosses in the hallway at work last week and his eyes went directly to my "hickey." I'm sure he was thinking, what a 'ho.

2.) TheGuy is scared to touch me with a ten foot pole, as half his body has been covered in poison ivy and got to the point where he had to take steroids.

3.) I'm forced to wear a Band-Aid on my neck in public to hide my scarlet A. Somehow I ended up at the bar last night looking like a lesbian (explanatory post to follow).

4.) My mom just told me it looks like I have a hickey and then told me the story of how she gave my dad a hickey on his nose soon after they were married.

Excuse me while I vomit.

If Only it were a Hickey

Is it possible to get poison ivy in winter? YES.

"Urushiol is the chemical in poison ivy plants that causes the typical allergic reaction and symptoms of poison ivy rashes. Urushiol is found in the leaves, stems, and roots of poison ivy plants, which means that you can get a rash even in the winter, when a plant has lost all of its leaves."

For those who have never had it, allow me to share my misery.

Day 1: You may notice one or two small dots, or red, irritated skin. If you touch it, it will spread.

Day 2: Extreme, constant urge to itch.

Day 3: Inflamed area becomes painful.

Day 4: Tiny blisters form, producing puss and yellow ooze.

Day 5: Infected area begins to dry. Flaky skin to follow.

Day 6: See below.



Note: While there may be more sensitive areas to get poison ivy, the neck is not an ideal location as it closely resembles what appears to be a hickey. Unfortunately, turtlenecks and concealer are not your friend in this case, for they will only magnify the problem. And it takes far longer for a poison ivy rash to go away than a love-bite.