Jealous Much?

About a month ago at dinner, Lo told an amusing story about her roommate, Missy. Missy has been doing Match.com and during one of her recent first dates, the guy told a story that involved some of his female friends, to which Missy said, "I don't believe in men and women having friends of the opposite sex." Her date said, "So you wouldn't marry a guy that had girls as friends?" She shot back, "Why are you bringing up marriage? Is it because you want to marry me?"

The following day, Missy relayed the conversation to Lo, and in all seriousness asked, "So what should I do if he calls? Should I answer?" "No," Lo said, knowing full well a call would never be made in the first place.

Jealousy is an ugly emotion. I try to be realistic when it comes to jealousy. Just because you've chosen to be in a monogamous relationship shouldn't mean you're no longer allowed to have friends of the opposite sex or find others attractive. That's crazy. And would never happen. If he/she tells you otherwise, they lie.

One pattern in my dating history is that I've never dated a notoriously jealous guy. Not even remotely close. While I can't speak on behalf of men, I believe some women find it chivalrous when their men get jealous. To me, jealousy screams insecurity and lack of trust on the part of the possessive half. I would never have the patience or tolerance to put up with that constant mistrust.

If someone is gonna cheat, they're gonna cheat. There's not much you can do about it. When you're growing up, parents and teachers repeatedly tell you not to drink or do drugs, which only piques your curiosity and makes you want to rebel even more. I apply the same logic when it comes to jealousy: the more you try to control someone, the more resentful they'll become and it will only fuel their need for secrecy. The way I see it, it will do more harm than good and potentially drive a huge wedge in your relationship.