Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Men: 15 Style Mistakes You Can Fix Now

Every man should read this article, 15 Style Mistakes You Can Fix Now.

I was going to post just a few of the highlights, but they're all so critical, I couldn't pick-n-choose!

1. Match your belt and shoes. If you're wearing black shoes, put on a black belt. And brown shoes demand a brown belt. A good, general rule is to never mix the color of your leathers.

2. For crying out loud, pull your pants down. You may be pushing 40, but you don't need to hike up your pants like you're ready to start walking the mall. And it's even worse if you tuck in your shirt like Napoleon Dynamite.

3. On the flip side, pull up your pants. Seeing some 19-year-old's boxer shorts is bad enough; we don't need to see your tighty whities. You should have stopped buying "baggy cut" jeans years ago.

4. Pay attention to your shoes. You could be wearing $100 jeans with a sharp-looking shirt, but you'll still embarrass your wife or girlfriend with those old loafers that should have been pitched in the 1990s. Buy quality shoes that look smart and stylish. Remember, people check out shoes. Potential employers often will look at them to judge a candidate's attention to detail. Good rule of thumb: Spend your money on shoes, not shirts and pants. Also, match your socks to your shoes (very easy) or at least make sure they are a nice "bridge" from the shoes to the pants. Save the tube socks for the gym and lounging on weekends.

5. Wear clothes that fit properly. At this age, trying to look trendy is a cry for help. And just because that fitted (another term for "your nipples are showing") medium T-shirt looks good on Jake Gyllenhaal, that doesn't mean it looks good on you.

6. A side note to No. 5; if you're short and stocky, don't wear horizontal stripes—you'll look 3 feet tall. (My wife has to remind me of this once a year).

7. Don't worry if you're a little chunky; just wear what looks good on a guy with a little heft. You can't go wrong with black. It's slimming, classy and makes you reek of confidence.

8. Put away the tank top—even at the gym. You're not 12 years old anymore, and no one wants to smell your pits.

9. If your woman's not happy, you're not happy. After getting ready to go out, if you see concern on her face when she looks you over, change your clothes. There's a 98.9 percent chance she's right.

10. Man boobs are our kryptonite, and we have to fight back. They're an immediate turnoff to women, even though most don't mind a plump guy. Attack the problem head-on: Go to the gym, and wear clothes that don't cling to your body. We have Phil Mickelson to thank for officially raising this to a national emergency. We're at Defcon 1.

11. If you wear glasses, remember they're a window into who you are. Update them at least every other year and consider style when choosing them. And don't skimp. Expensive glasses are infinitely better than those $50 specs on special at the local mall.

12. Drop the baseball hat. Yes, it was standard issue in college, but those days are gone. The only exceptions to this rule: Working in the yard, casually hanging out, or playing drums for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

13. If you have to wear cologne, tone it down. You get points for wanting to smell good, but those points are immediately taken away when your co-workers can smell you in the break room—10 minutes after you left. Just spray a small amount into the air and walk through it. Less is more.

14. If you have a hairy chest, you cannot wear a V-neck without an undershirt. This is not 1977 and your name isn't Smokey. Or Simon Cowell, for that matter.

15. No socks with sandals. And if you do wear open-toed sandals, keep your feet groomed. Have you even looked down there since last summer? Trust us on this one.

Seeing these style blunders on a daily basis, here were the ones I felt the need to comment on:

"Match your belt to your shoes." This should be a given, but you'd be surprised by how often you see this no-no! Oh, and if you can't tell the difference between navy and black, please ask for a second, or third opinion before leaving the house. "Close enough" doesn't cut it.

"Good rule of thumb: Spend your money on shoes, not shirts and pants." Shoes are probably the most overlooked by guys, but shoes can ruin an entire outfit.

"If your woman's not happy, you're not happy. There's a 98.9 percent chance she's right." Duh.

I've already visited the cologne issue, but there simply can't be enough said about the art of subtlety.

"If you have a hairy chest, you cannot wear a V-neck without an undershirt." No shirt, no service. Lack of undershirt, or v-neck undershirt, is unacceptable in my book, so double negative points for sprouting chest hair!! Just the thought of it makes me squirm.

"No socks with sandals." Again, you'd think it wouldn't be necessary to emphasize this faux-pas, but it appeared on this list for a reason.

4 comments:

MD said...

Was this article really written by a guy?

You women (and girlie men) can't control us! MEN! Rise up! Do not accept this oppression of what it is to be a man!

Also, an easy solution to matching, don't wear socks, belts, and shoes at the same time. Pick one.

wearingthepants said...

You don't buy that it was written by a guy???

Ahahaha, nice solution. That sounds gross, particularly shoes with no socks. Yuck!

wearingthepants said...

You don't let Ally select your outfits then??

MD said...

I don't want some guy, or any guys critiquing my clothes. If some guy at a bar tried tell me how wrong my shoes are b/c they don't match my eyes, I'd bitch slap 'em. TWICE!

I run things by her now and again, but she's not always around to check my clothes!