Stuff and Things

Friday morning before work, I dropped off Marley at the vet so he could get declawed and neutered. He had to stay overnight, which I initially didn't think would be a big deal, but I missed the little guy like crazy! I'm so used to him following my every move and curling up on my lap when I watch TV and snuggling under my chin while I sleep that it was awfully lonely without him.

Happy to report his surgery went smoothly and he is recovering nicely. It struck me as odd when the vet said they used glue as opposed to stitches for both procedures. I guess that must be the preferred method these days. I have to say I just LOVE going to the vet clinic and seeing pet owners with their pets. It's always a delight and an added bonus is that you can't help but beam when your animal receives compliments even though you had absolutely nothing to do with their genetic makeup!!

I'm also happy to report my apartment has never been cleaner. It took multiple days, but I really scrubbed everything down and boy, did it need it! I feel as though I should take a picture, for it may never be this clean again.

I found myself at a "party" Friday night where the conversation revolved around World of Warcraft. The invite was extended from a guy at work, "Stripes," as Deborah and I refer to him since every day, without fail, he wears a striped shirt, usually short-sleeve polos. I can hang with the dorks, but this was borderline for me. I felt extremely out of place, so I only stayed for one vodka/cherry 7-up drink (the hard liquor supply was limited) and got the hell out of there.

I felt guilty when Stripes profusely apologized for boring me and tried to convince me to stay, but that wasn't happening. When I went to leave, Stripes walked me out, and then akwardly enough, two of his buddies trailed behind, one of them (who reminded me of a blonde Hamilton Porter from The Sandlot) saying, "We all came to say good-bye." Oh, and did I mention Stripes girlfriend was present at the party? Another interesting party attendee happened to be Stripes' new roommate, the girlfriend of his friend/roommate, whom he met playing World of Warcraft. How sweet is that?

Dork Hierarchy

Let me start by saying, it was so good to have my friend from college in town this weekend! It felt like ages since I'd seen her. Good times. :)

Now for the weekend updates...

I give Friday evening four out of five stars. Loss of one star attributed to a friend, who will from now on be known as Buzzkill Biatch. Cruel, yes, but I couldn't think of a more suitable "b" word.

Dear Buzzkill Biatch,

When you make plans with someone, it's not necessary to confirm more than once, if that. There's nothing more annoying than receiving multiple confirmation emails, texts and calls from the same person.

When asked for your opinion of where to go out, don't say, "I'll go anywhere," when you really mean Harvey's is the only acceptable venue downtown. Granted, we would've vetoed your only choice anyway, but you lost all rights to bitch about bar destinations when you failed to speak up when given the chance. No one likes a whiner: "Drinks are too expensive." "Too crowded." "Meat market." "We should've gone to Harvey's."

There's this thing called buying rounds. I know, I know. The concept is a tad difficult to comprehend. You take turns footing the bill for everyone's drinks. When your turn rolls around, it's NOT cool to declare you're cut-off, decidedly switching to water. If, in fact, that is the case, you still offer to get a round for the others in your group. If all are done for the night, you assure them you owe them drinks next time you go out. And you follow-through.

Sincerely,

Your infuriated friends

Most memorable award of the evening goes to the two dorks at the Imperial Room. Generally, I use this term loosely, but these guys were the epitome of dorkdom. Amidst the sea of dorks, this duo stood out above the rest. We all got a good chuckle at their expense -- two petite dudes (both in glasses) huddled in the corner, sitting extremely close to one another. Buzzkill Biatch: "Check out the pointdexters."

It all began when Buzzkill Biatch decided to sit on one of two nearby vacant chairs. This gesture was on open invitation for a guy to make his move and naturally, a dork in the vicinity did just that. Wearing a track jacket sporting the popped collar, he plopped down on the adjacent chair -- leaving his married wingman standing.

The remaining three of us stood a few feet away, laughing at Married Wingman's tapered jeans and short sweater with undershirt hanging out. Eventually, my friend from out of town was summoned over to the dork group by Buzzkill Biatch, leaving myself and my friend as prey. We were anti-social by not joining the group, and boy, did we pay for it.

Pointdexter #1 and Pointdexter #2 walked up to us and asked if we wanted to dance. I couldn't look either in the eye, for fear I would die of laughter. We politely declined, saying we didn't dance, which prompted this smooth response from Pointdexter #1: "If I were Brad Pitt, you would dance." The fact he called himself unattractive, then dug himself an even deeper hole by comparing himself to Brad Pitt speaks volumes.

Pointdexter twins desperately tried to make small talk, but all I could concentrate on was keeping a straight face. Our other two friends witnessed what was going on and laughed at the situation -- they weren't about to save us! A close second to the Brad Pitt comment, the best part was we later found out the respective dorks (tapered jeans and all), simultaneously felt compelled to point out Pointdexter #1 and Pointdexter #2, saying, "Look at those dorks!" Hence, the Dork Hierarchy.