Maybe Bye Bye

Last week TheGuy submitted his application to teach English in Korea, stating June 1st as his available start date. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. On one hand, I know I'd be crushed by his departure - - it's only once in a great while that I allow myself to grow so close to someone. In fact, the pathetic part of me may or may not have cried in my cube at work on Friday when my co-worker Stripes decided to stop by.

Yet part of me hopes he goes since I know he's not the right guy for me. When he asked if I thought he should go, I told him I couldn't encourage him nor would I dissuade him from going. I told him to do whatever is best for him and if that doesn't include me, so be it. I may be a mess for a while, but I'll understand and get over it and continue to be his friend. Ultimately, I could never feel good about myself knowing I held him back and became the source of his regret and/or resentment, which is what I would be doing by telling him to stay.

If he decides to go, I will discontinue hanging out with him immediately. Then I'd just be waiting around, all sad and depressed and shit, and who wants to do that?