Sneaky Little Thing

Before my brothers came along, my parents described me as this vibrant, cheerful little girl full of zest. Upon their arrival, my world came crashing down faster than Britney Spears' dignity. They were these pesky little creatures who not only stole my coveted personal belongings, but also stole the undivided attention right out from underneath me.

There's an old photo of me sitting peacefully on the perched area of our brick fireplace, toys neatly beside me, as my rugrat of a brother crawls below me. Since he hadn't learned to stand yet, I'd found a temporary way to keep him from being within hands reach of decapitating yet another Barbie.

As the misfits grew older and I realized they weren't going anywhere, I discovered ways to use their naivety to my advantage. If I learned a "bad word" at school, I'd rush home and tell the first one I saw and watch with guilty pleasure as my mom stuck a bar of soap in their mouth. They were putty in my hands. If I told them to jump on the living room furniture, I'd first be amazed by their stupidity, then run off and snitch to my mother. I never got bored of finding new ways to get them in trouble. As they were being hauled off to their rooms, I'd relish the role of the "good kid."

Being a good listener, I look for the weaknesses in others lest I need it for future use to strike a nerve. I became an expert in the field of pushing people's buttons using my two brothers as lab rats. It didn't take much for me to get one or both of them riled up, pitting them against one another. Not before long, they'd be wrestling and getting hollered at while I sat back and enjoyed the show.

I didn't know it at the time, but even our neighbor said something to my mom about my uncanny ability to manipulate men and how oblivious they were to my evil doings. So yes, I'm a little manipulator who instigates drama. I'm so sneaky about it that those around me fail to notice and it's become second nature so I no longer realize I'm doing it myself. Don't be fooled by my quiet presence. Bwahaha.