I Hope She's Got Pepper Spray in Her Desk

There's a girl who works a few cubes away from me, we'll call her Curly Sue, who was rumored to be crying at her desk the other day. Curly Sue is twenty-five and married to a deadbeat husband. When Curly Sue first started here, she and her husband were separated so she was living with one of her best friends. Five months down the line, Curly Sue and her husband reconciled and she moved back in with him.

Deadbeat Douche is unemployed and sits at home all day while she puts in a full day and then goes directly from here to her second job as a hair stylist. While she spends her weekends trimming mullets at the local salon, he spends his chugging beers at the local bar or passed out on the living room sofa.

I'm not close with Curly Sue but I make it my business to know the personal affairs of others, even complete strangers are at risk. Apparently Curly Sue is distraught because she and another guy at work, Boris, also married, have strong feelings for one another. Boris works in a different building but his visits with Curly Sue seem to be a daily occurrence these days.

As an outsider looking in, the situation is crystal clear. One has a job and one doesn't. But I know, I know. For poor Curly Sue, love is blind. I don't know whether Boris and his wife are happily married, but I'm hoping for some major inter-office drama to unfold in the very near future. Not that I want to advocate infidelity, but hey, this just happens to be the most exciting thing to happen around here since Deborah described her method for lying down perfectly flat on her bed in order to button her fly.