Sassified

Saturday I went downtown for GC's cousin's bachelorette party. I didn't show up until 11 and by that time, GC had been drinking for five hours. She was a total riot. During the walk to the club, she hollered "douchebag" at every dude we passed on the street. She darted in front of oncoming traffic several times which triggered a duet of musical horns and impatient drivers stopped mid-intersection as they waited for all twelve ducklings to cross.

When we arrived at the club, GC asked the bouncers out front if the owner was inside and they said "no." I can't recall what other words were exchanged but the bouncers cocked an attitude which doesn't sit well with her so she scolded them for being rude: the exact words Bouncer-on-a-Power-Trip wants to hear. So there we were, lined up single file, when BPT sauntered over, unhooked one side of the velvet rope and demanded GC step out of line, for she was not welcome as she was "overly intoxicated" and that was an "invitation for trouble."

Little did BPT know, but GC is good friends with the club owner. In fact, she'd made our bottle service reservations through him. A few minutes after the squabble scene, the owner showed up and personally escorted GC into the club, pulling rank over the protests of BPT. It was validating to witness BPT's authority undermined!

I didn't know the other girls with the exception of the bride and her sister, but it was a fun night. Nothing too crazy, just lots of drinking and dancing.

I later met up with C-Sharp. He was outside smoking when I arrived and busy "establishing commonalities" with two girls. I nearly cockblocked him yet again when I was introduced as his cousin/friend/wife/sister, but they didn't seem to notice or care. Or there was a language barrier.

It was off to Perkin's after bar close where a friend soaked up all the liquor in his system with twenty pieces of rye toast. Also noteworthy: impressive beat boxing at the ghetto table next door and a sweet old granny in the adjacent booth enjoying half a sandwich and slowly slurping chicken noodle soup at 3:30 am.