Dis.con.nect

When my wireless internet connection decides to be a bitch, I scan the list of neighbors' unsecured connections to steal. I get a kick out of my options. What can I say? I'm easily amused.

Names and potential corresponding personality types:

Leinie Lodge

You are a true woodsman at heart. You're most relaxed spending time at your cabin, fishing pole in one hand, Leinienkugel in the other.

melissa

You're a loner. You iron your bedding. You've never had a day of fun in your life.

Shi-Tzu Connect

First of all, learn the correct spelling of your dog's breed. Secondly, why? Shih-tzus are quite possibly the fugliest of small dogs. It looks like your dog's face was smashed in with a rubber mallet and the first syllable of his or her family's name is "shit."

Martini007

We could become great friends. I've got a three-year-old, never-been-used martini shaker and set of martini glasses housing dust in my cabinet. It beckons you.

sex is good

You must be having phenomenal sex on a regular basis if this was the first thing that came to mind.