No Game

As predicted, Friday night sucked. It was a female friend's birthday. She made a bitchy comment to me at one point during the evening so that was a major buzzkill. I won't bore you with the details. Instead, I'll surprise everyone, myself included, by focusing on the positive rather than the negative.

The highlight (if you can call it that) of the night came during bar time. There was a group of us, two males and seven females. We sat/stood beside a table in the lower area of the place. A two-top table was situated directly above ours and became occupied by two gentlemen in their late 20's. Initially, I thought they were lovers. It was something about the way they interacted. They leaned toward one another, speaking very closely. However, they not-so-discreetly pointed out women in the crowd to one another. Curious, I enlisted the opinion of one of the males in our group.

I'm so grateful I did because his answer proved to be very informative. He immediately declared they were nerdy, not gay, the two being easily confused. He then proceeded to point out all the obvious reasons for their lack of game.

For one, their clothes. One guy wore a tan, cotton jacket that was probably from the GAP circa 1998. The other dude wore a polo shirt, perhaps from the mens' department at Kohl's, that was a size too large. I could have identified the clothes on my own, but my friend had surprising insight to offer. He emphasized the importance of a wristwatch. Both men were watchless. I totally underestimated this male accessory. I can definitely see how it would enhance a man's attractiveness, presuming it's a nice watch of course. Also a potential conversation starter, if nothing else.

Not only did their game fall flat, but so did their hair. The IT dorks wore no hair gel. One of them even had decent, thick hair that would have looked nice with the addition of some pomade. As an example, my friend picked out a random male at the table beside us with spikey hair. He said, "Check him out. He's an okay-looking guy. But look at the two women he's with." Indeed, he sat with two very attractive women. He added, "Now that guy has game."

Last but not least, their choice of beer wasn't about to get them laid either. He said it depends on the venue, but we were at a nicer place, Figlio's, where they have a decent selection of beer, but these guys were not interested. He said, "Those guys went up to the bar and asked what the specials were. They thought about getting a pitcher, but decided it against it and went with the cheapest beer on tap, Miller Lite." He claimed the least you could do was get a Guinness!

And then, as if on cue, one of the guys struck up conversation with the nearest female in our group. We were too far to hear his lame pick-up line, but I'm sure it was smooth! When both guys started testing their mack skills on her, he said, "Watch this. I'm about to make those guys feel real uncomfortable." He went up to her, gave her a big hug, and whispered something in her ear, looking very intimate. The guys lost interest and went back to picking out hot women they didn't have the balls to talk to.

Unusual for a guy, my friend had very keen observations which were not only admirable and entertaining, but enightening as well!