Does Timing = Fate?

When it comes to love, it may not be considered "romantic" to accept the fact our lives are based purely on timing, but what of it?

Believers of fate feel everything happens for a reason. In accordance to this, I should acknowledge that a guy I find cute AND funny is somehow not right for me. Oh Gods of Fate, is that why ye choseth to have him meet and fall for some homely, Plain Jane with 80's hair and frumpy fashion several weeks before I officially became single? I do believe so.

Yes, that's right. When I was in a relationship, I met a few guys I potentially would have dated, had I been available. The most recent was a friend of a friend. We'll call him Ace since he's known in a few circles for dressing up like a gay superhero for Halloween. I know, you're impressed already. I met Ace back in September of last year. He was a friend of a friend that met up with a small group of us out one night. You know what they say, you always meet someone when you're not looking, right?

It was a Monday, of all nights, and it was sort of a last hurrah for one of my best friends before she moved out-of-state to begin her new job/career. Seeing as how I had to work the next day, I had no intent to get drunk, but before I knew it, two drinks turned into ten. Or something like that. Eventually, I reached the point of no return.

Our guy friends invited us to their house for the after-bar, so at some point during the walk/stumble from the bar, it was decided that I was riding with Ace. As we drove through downtown, he pointed out several restaurants, wanting to know whether I'd eaten at them. The answer was "no" every time (I don't get out much), as he raved about his love for sushi and Mediterranean food.

It wasn't until we got to the house and continued the boozefest that the boyfriend question arose. When I sheepishly replied, "Yes, I do have a boyfriend," he expressed his disappointment, revealing he'd planned to ask me out, which had been his reason for asking me about those restaurants. For as much as I overanalyze, you'd think I would've picked up on that, but up until then, I never received the slightest inkling of the "he's into me" vibe. Strange.

So we had the boyfriend/relationship talk for what seemed like a couple hours, but could've been more or less, since I lost all track of time. I explained I wasn't in love with him -- he was really more of a friend than a boyfriend. How did it last four years? I wish I had an answer myself. It was comforting to know Ace had been in a similar situation. He'd recently broken up with his girlfriend of two years that he'd never said "I love you" to.

He spent a great deal of time giving me a pep talk, encouraging me to break it off, telling it like it was. It was all of the things I knew were true, but sounded completely different coming from an outside perspective. It was an eye-opening conversation, to say the least. Of course, the fact I had a boyfriend failed to discourage him from trying to make out with me all night, but what can I say? He's a guy. And nothing happened.

It wasn't immediate, though things were rocky, but a couple months later, the ex and I were definitely through, once and for all. In the meantime, I saw Ace twice, and each time, he was baffled to learn we were still together after "our talk." By our third encounter, as my single self, he had a new girlfriend -- which caught me completely off-guard since the possibility never even crossed my mind.

He was happy to hear it was over and done with, and he went on a rant about how small the "window of opportunity" can be. Well, I can't help but hope the window hasn't been permanently closed because he'd be a really fun date -- his sarcasm is priceless. With no interesting prospects, I can't help but think of him from time to time. I'm usually wondering if he suddenly became single overnight. Knowing my luck, he'll be engaged by fall.

If I were a believer in fate, I'd be inclined to believe we met at that particular time for a reason. If we hadn't met, maybe I'd still be with someone that wasn't right for me. But, moral of the story, it's true what they say, "It's all about the timing."